Trevor,
Dont feel bad about it man. I thought the same thing was wrong with my Yamaha EX-7 when I first bought it, of course I felt like an idiot when I realized the actual name of the sound had (LoFi)as the first 4 letters. It's a great effect too... Gives you that nice jazz sound of the early days, but the one on the Yamaha goes a step further. It uses split mode and velocity switching. The upper hand is a really mellow sounding grand (typical of the recording technics from the day) and in the lower hand there is a upright bass layered with a single upper cymbal hit. The velocity switching comes in when you're doing a nice walking bass line with your left hand and if you hit it a little harder rather than get the single upper cymbal hit you get a crash cymbal.. If anyone can get there hands on an EX-7 try it out.. It's a great sound..

Squeak