Hey Squeak, Welcome to the club. There are a lot of folks that play professionally that cannot read a note. I personally only play what the voices in my head tell me to play. Began at age 7 playing piano, picked up a guitar at age 12 and played my first paying gig at age 17 while I was a kid in the U.S. Navy and seeing the world from the decks of a Heavy Cruiser. Didn't tough a keyboard until about 15 years ago, but I've updated many times since then.

I, like you, tried to read music for a lot of years, took a few lessons, but when it came to reading from the sheets and playing at the same time, there was a mental block that I couldn't overcome. Everytime I looked at the song title, the music popped into my head and the darned fingers just automatically went to the keys that seemed right.

Don't let the ability to not read music bother you--it really doesn't matter to your audiences unless they're a bunch of folks from Peabody Institute that would pick apart anyone that plays--including Bethoven.

As for buying the keyboard, sell that damned Lincoln, buy a 2000, play lots of high paying gigs, then upgrade to a Rolls, drive it to the law office and hand them your resignation. Now that's poetic justice!

Gary