Quote:
Originally posted by ianmcnll:


...I'm not sure yet, Chas...I've gone through little slumps, but I always managed to re-interest myself in something that would draw me back in to playing.

...but I just don't feel that satisfaction I used to feel when playing at my restaurant gig. I don't want to do these gigs anymore as it stands now.

...I also felt like wallpaper; it had nothing to do with using an arranger...I felt the same way when playing solo piano.

...when I played years ago in the local bands, and that is something I'm toying with at present.

...Not a lot of players to work with around this area, and I don't want to do the bar scene anymore either.

...It's like I need to find the joy again...the hunger

...I don't think it's a self-confidence thing...it's like I feel burnt out more than anything.

Ian


I’ve never seen such candid remarks as I’ve seen in this thread. No one trying to best the next person for a change.

Ian,

This is a great post you did here…..for me anyway. Up to now I’ve been thinking I’m the only one on the planet who felt this way (about most of what you wrote). And I’ve also been too proud to talk about it.

I never thought I’d get to this point myself. I’ve played every day for the last 40 years. I’ve always done this for a living and up to a few years ago, I couldn’t live without my daily dose of music. Suddenly, I don’t care either if I play anymore. I mean like…when I sit down at the piano, I can’t tear myself away from it. But, more times than not, I don’t ever even make it to the piano.

Is it too many years of entertaining in, what I call, a plastic world? …something like living every day in DisneyLand. Is it meeting and conversing with hordes of people on a surface level only and then never seeing them again? Is it having to ignore many other things I enjoy doing like reading, “listening” to music (rather than playing it), spending more social time with friends, travel, meditating, etc.

Or is it, as I suspect, the rubbish music that exists today and that people prefer over what used to be? I think this is the straw that broke the camel’s back (me being the “camel‘s back). Everything else was just leading up to it!

This has been a first for me, to admit to anyone that’s I’m getting tired of playing music. As I said…I’ve been too proud. But since you guys have already been so forthcoming, it feels good to let it out.

Again…..it’s been satisfying hearing some of you reveal true feelings about playing instead of talking about the latest OS, etc.

Lucky