Chas will be buried in a Dallas Cowboys shirt with a clerical collar. Pallbearers will be Rush, Hannity, Beck, and O'Reilly, and the eulogy will be spoken by George Bush. Dick Cheney, and Laura Ingraham are also scheduled to articulate last words.

Ted Nugent will sing the final farewell song with an accordion backing...playing 'Who Stole The Kiszka Polka'.

The 21 assault weapon gun salute will performed by members of the John Birch Soceity, preceded by a final farewell gospel from Pastor Jerry Jones.

Later Ann Coulter will host a final, no alcohol, dinner party for Chas, however, sorry, only those making over $250,000 are invited. In memory of Chas, she will be signing and selling her books. All profits from the Chas Memorial Dinner will be going to the GOP Super Pack

All of this, of course, will be covered live by 'Fox and Friends'.

What a way to go Chas...