Russ
I hear you, been there. I've done my share of private clubs and at some you ARE just the help. They feel they can tell you what to do at any time and your equipment is property of the club.
I always try to be polite and explain that if something were pre-arranged perhaps we could do it. If they insist ( 3 martini rule ) I let them make an ass of themselves.
My rule always was the nicer the place the worse you will be treated. Go in, do the job, get paid, get out.
Since your a regular and pretty respected ther perhaps a talk with the manager and defer those people to him. He could polielty explain its not club policy to have "cold" sit ins.
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Bill in SC --- Roland BK9 (2) Roland BK7M, Roland PK5 Pedals, Roland FP90, Roland CM30 (2), JBL Eon Ones (2) JBL 610 Monitor, Behringer Sub, EV mics, Apple iPad (2) Behringer DJ mixer