Suggestions...
If you want to become serious about music, then you have to TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY and TRY again. If all failes still kee trying.
So you can potentially get a Triton or something like it and use it as a tool for learning about music.
Your problem now is that you like the idea of playing synths, but you are a bit discouraged by lack of certain knowledge. Or better phrased turned off by the fact that you have to learn. May be even afraid to learn 'cause you feel that you might fail.
Since yoo don't have much knowledge about music making at this point, you can't really rlate to music making process. You can't be possibly attracted by something that you can't identify with.
All you really have to do is learn just enough to be able to relate to things.
Suddenly you'll find that certain buzzwords and terms become more than just meaningless and boring stuff. "The more you know, the more you can relate to.The more you can relate to, the more interesting life becomes."
So put all the fears and doubts aside and start playing again.
Treat any difficulties as just a stage in a learning process, NOT as a dead end.
So if you don't play a keyboard like Billie Joel or sequence and create arrangements like Wendy Carlos - don't let that bother you. KEEP TRYING.
Well, that's if you want to do anything with music.
-ED-
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A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.
- - - Oscar Wilde