SYNTH ZONE
Visit The Bar For Casual Discussion
Topic Options
#135773 - 01/21/07 06:37 AM SONG: "I Wish You Enough"
SemiLiveMusic Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 08/28/04
Posts: 2206
Loc: Louisiana, USA
Haha, the last song got zero responses; I guess that means no one liked it.

As usual, seeking feedback on this song, not the recording. A work demo done on-the-fly with psr2000. (Oops, I hear a piano bauble.)

Thanks for any comments. I am especially seeking feedback on this song's potential.

Click on I WISH YOU ENOUGH

EDIT: Here's the lyric.

"I WISH YOU ENOUGH"
(c)2003 All rights reserved

Your picture in the hallway made me smile
I stopped and stared for awhile
Reliving fond memories
They eased through my mind like a breeze

Each day the sun sets in the west
I'm thankful 'cause I have been blessed
Though there have been times it's been rough
Always know, I wish you enough

[ CHORUS: ]
I wish enough sun to keep your cheeks all aglow
I wish enough rain to help your roses to grow
I wish enough fun to see your heart at play
And just enough fame that you have your own day
I wish enough certainty like waves at the shore
I wish enough change, nothing less, nothing more
All these things, I hope life will bring
Most of all, when time's get tough, I WISH YOU ENOUGH

[ BREAK ]

These mem'ries of you are so pure
My heart keeps them safe and secure
Like your picture, they're snapshots of love
Always know, I wish you enough

[ CHORUS - REPEAT ]

[This message has been edited by SemiLiveMusic (edited 01-21-2007).]
_________________________
~ ~ ~
Bill

Top
#135774 - 01/21/07 07:03 AM Re: SONG: "I Wish You Enough"
Bill in Dayton Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 08/23/04
Posts: 2207
Loc: Dayton, OH USA
Bill-

Structually, I think the tune would benefit from a bridge.

Melodically, its pleasant but it might present better if it was performed in a higher key. The chorus has a reasonable "hook" to it, but it didn't blow me away.

Lyrically, I like it a lot...

Strong effort...

Bill in Dayton
_________________________
Bill in Dayton

Top
#135775 - 01/21/07 02:50 PM Re: SONG: "I Wish You Enough"
tony mads usa Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 01/16/02
Posts: 14376
Loc: East Greenwich RI USA
Bill, I like this one .... really nice job ...
t.
_________________________
t. cool

Top
#135776 - 01/22/07 03:16 AM Re: SONG: "I Wish You Enough"
Caragabal Offline
Member

Registered: 11/01/04
Posts: 320
Loc: Hobart Tasmania Australia
Although I am not really a fan of country music I liked the melody and found it very singable and easy to pick up.
A tune that could easily get into your head.
The presentation in my opinion would probably do with more fire and emotion when finally performed to an audience.

Cousin Ken

Top
#135777 - 01/22/07 03:43 AM Re: SONG: "I Wish You Enough"
SemiLiveMusic Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 08/28/04
Posts: 2206
Loc: Louisiana, USA
Just an observation... A problem with adding a bridge to this song is that it is 3:48 as is and there are only brief breaks. A bridge would add 30 to 45 seconds. I don't hear the need for a bridge but I'm open to any suggestions. It would have to need it really bad to add 30 to 45 seconds to it.

A guy just responded on another forum that "I wish you enough" is not enough, that it's kind of like derogatory to only wish someone enough. I'm thinking "Did you listen to the chorus? The entire chorus is written about what enough is!"

A memorable hook is invaluable in songwriting and over the years, I kept coming back to this song to work on it because I thought it was a good hook... it's unique.

I don't know, maybe it's not so special but I love playing this song. I *really* like this song. I've had a couple of responses that make me think about this and that; haha, I thought it was pretty close. I guess more rewriting is due. This song has a shipload of hours into it. It ain't easy!

As always, honest feedback is appreciated.

------------------
Bill
SmallGig.com
:::
As a songwriter, I need feedback on songs posted! Thanks!
_________________________
~ ~ ~
Bill

Top

Moderator:  Admin, Diki, Kerry 



Help keep Synth Zone Online