I really regret the loss of members here on the "zone". There are on-going problems with interperonal communications in general, and understanding what some of these are is helpful in at least explaining why some of the recent situations have developed.

I teach Interpersonal Communications at the University level at least one semester a year and also teach organizational communications and advise organizations on communications issues.

According to academic research, up to 17% of the population has cognitive problems affecting the individual's capacity to think and act rationally. As much as 9% of the population of the United States is in therapy
and/or taking medications for a variety of cognitive problems and other mental health issues.

While working through disagreements, etc. is admirable, when dealing with people with
cognitive problems, sometimes, you have to just walk away.

When you add the anonymity of and easy access to the web, the problems that surface are multiplied.

Sometimes the only thing that works is to feel sorry for the people with cognitive problems and just walk away. Continuing discussions with irrational, impaired people just compounds the irritation and creates resentment, hurt feelings, etc.

The vast majority of the folks on the zone are GREAT, but it is logical to assume that every once in a while, a person or persons not able to deal rationally with others will surface.

It is my wish that we all attempt to share information and experience in a respectful,
sharing manner. But, if we suspect that an individual involved is irrational or impaired, let's not let that negate why we're all here. A mutual love of music and a spirit of brotherhood and sharing is just too important.

We're important to each other, and need to be thankful for the chance to share music and life...TOGETHER!

You folks are really important to me (even you "Yammie" players-JUST KIDDING)!

Russ "old softy" Lay

Thanks Russ for a down to earth statement on this ongoing problem in ALL Forums.
I , for one, am longer in the tooth than most of us here and I believe that the years have taught me to recognise the fellows you describe. The result is that I can accept the occasional hiccups in relations we encounter on all Forums and accept that it is all part of our human failings.
I thank my stars that I am able to live a more pleasant life because of this understanding.
I also have a personal belief that we can all meet our maker with head held high if we make sure that while we are here, we are confident that our conscience is clear whenever we make a move or statement which affects our fellows around us.
Peace and Understanding.
cheers
Eddie Johnson

------------------
Eddie from Rotherham
Skype:eddiefromrotherham
www.yamahakeyboards.info

Russ,
your views and expertise on the matter are much appreciated.

I would also like to note that an important area of the problem lies in that the main form of communication with other members is written language, devoid of any other means of normal everyday communication and expressiveness (hand gestures, facial expressions, body language in general), save of the occasional "smilies". This alone, requires a certain level of command of the language itself, for an individual to effectively overcome the absence of the aforementioned means of expression, thus rendering some people incapable to communicate effectively. This mainly affects people from different countries, like myself, or people that are not used in this form of communication.

There are also cultural differences here as well, people from other countries with different customs or habits, even people from the US that are raised in different parts of the country, and last but not least, the age difference, evident in some of the discussions here.

In my short (less than 2 years) presence to this forum, I have seen members quitting (declaring that they will leave the forum for a reason, mainly because they had a clash with other members), and I think some members just quietly slipped away (maybe pursuing other interests, or not interested to announce their intention to quit). New members come in all the time, and the forum shows a "self-healing" capacity, somehow rejecting those that are either "unfit" (put in quotes in lack of a proper word), or unable to contribute in any useful way.

As time passes, some of us will eventually stop contributing to, or even reading the forum, for various reasons. I can understand that, I see it as a kind of life cycle. We are born, we live, we eventually die. But having to quit the forum abruptly, because someone is not behaving as he/she should, constitutes loss of life, a form of murder. Which is unacceptable, at least for me.

To conclude, I guess it is in our (mostly mature, at least in age) hands, to try AND succeed not to shoot each other. Drunken brawls are acceptable, at least in the Bar

Please (all of you, especially ianmcnll), have in mind that the aove are not in any way refer to Squeak's departure, are just my thoughts.

Just my 2 cents, some pebbles, my grandma's gold tooth, and some rusty brain cells in work,
Theodore

How right both of you are! None of us communicates in a vaccume. Factor in inflections, facial expressions, intonation, cultural and geographic differences and more for an undertanding of the total communication process.

We'll thought out and expressed, guys!


Russ

All the opinions above are appreciated, they have value. Let me add my simplicity.

I have only my opinion and that's all I have. Anything beyond that says something about me and not the receiver.

I value my opinion and I VALUE YOURS.

When I begin to feel perfection in myself I know it is a beginning of a problem.

John C.



[This message has been edited by bruno123 (edited 01-19-2006).]

Russ -
Sounds like you've met my boss

zuki

I have been a member and leader of a religious discussion group for a number of years in which
at times debate could get rather heated and feelings would be hurt.
I mulled over the problem for some time and came to this solution, that sometimes you have to agree to disagree and move on.
After the group embraced this solution we have not had any prolems in this regard.

Cousin Ken

Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere soon

MY opinions is....that is a load of horse pucky.

Overanalytical BS.

People just need to act like humans and not some molly coddled little babies, and the world would be a better place.

But we live in a "kinder, gentler" society where everyone is afraid of offending someone. We are a society of wimps and pansies.

Men can't be men, they have to be some sort of girlified mutants.

In another 50 years, we'll all be spending our days giving each other hugs, and individual thought and opinion will be frowned upon.

You have a great point rdnzl,
men should be men.

Please remember this phrase next time someone disagrees with you in an argument and instead of saying "Well I think you are very wrong in the subject, I really don't think I should continue discussing with you" like a wimp, takes the manly way, grabs a baseball bat, and without muttering a word, cracks your fingers in pieces (or burns your house down, or shoots your dog, or whatever).

That means that (at least for a while, if ever) you won't have the ability to play keyboards (I suppose you log here because you do play and love keyboards) AND the ability to write posts. The gray matter between your ears will still work of course, so you will have enough time to admire how manly your opponent was, instead of a pansie.

Nothing personal,
Theodore, a wimp

[This message has been edited by trident (edited 01-21-2006).]