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#164974 - 01/18/07 11:37 AM SONG: "An Hour And 20"
SemiLiveMusic Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 08/28/04
Posts: 2206
Loc: Louisiana, USA
I am considering sending some songs tomorrow to a publisher. Here is another song I'd like to know about... seeking input, thumbs up or down.

As always, it's just a work demo. Done on Yamaha psr2000.

:::

MP3 recording

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Bill
SmallGig.com
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Bill

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#164975 - 01/21/07 08:35 AM Re: SONG: "An Hour And 20"
DonM Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 06/25/99
Posts: 16735
Loc: Benton, LA, USA
Finally found time to listen. I like this one. I think your songs are getting better, particularly the meter and rhyme schemes.
Some of them, imo, would benefit from bridges, but what do I know?
DonM
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DonM

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#164976 - 01/21/07 08:41 AM Re: SONG: "An Hour And 20"
lindhawk Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/21/07
Posts: 8
Loc: Midland, Ontario, Canada
I just registered today, Bill and found your song. Thought it was very good and the accompaniment certainly enhanced the performance and didn't distract from it at all. Very poignant semtiments and words which fit my present situation perfectly, except make that An Hour and 40 Years!

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#164977 - 01/21/07 10:26 AM Re: SONG: "An Hour And 20"
George V Offline
Member

Registered: 01/09/05
Posts: 331
Loc: Sofia
I liked this one, too.

I do not understand what you mean by 'working demo'. In my opinion You need to add more voices to the accompaniment.

Regards,
George

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#164978 - 01/21/07 10:52 AM Re: SONG: "An Hour And 20"
SemiLiveMusic Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 08/28/04
Posts: 2206
Loc: Louisiana, USA
Quote:
Originally posted by DonM:
Finally found time to listen. I like this one. I think your songs are getting better, particularly the meter and rhyme schemes.
Some of them, imo, would benefit from bridges, but what do I know?
DonM


Hmmm, Don, this song is going on four years old! I haven't changed any meter or rhyme schemes.

Actually, I would be VERY interested in your pointing out any song of mine that does not have good meter or rhyme scheme. Not that I don't have them but I'd like to know what you are talking about! I have THREE HUNDRED songs! That is a LOT of songs. I don't think they are getting better, I just think you just have heard very few!

As for people commenting about bridges, yep, but when you write, write, write, you can't write the same all the time. Some songs are fine and dandy without a bridge. Typical Nashville pattern is v/c/v/c/b/c but if you write every song like that, it gets stale.

It's same thing with rhyming. If one writes a/a/b/b or a/b/a/b all the time, that gets old. Plus, you typically want the chorus different from the verses. But I don't think I have ever written a song that does not rhyme.

Then we get into rhymes and near-rhymes. I use them both. As Nashville does.

Regarding bridges, of course, you want to know when people think a song is lacking because it doesn't have a bridge.

Every comment on every song is thrown into the pot and I gain value and I appreciate anyone's comments. What's interesting is that I post songs all over the place and one person will absolutely be raving in love with a song and say this is a smash hit and the next person will tear it apart.

I have very strong opinions about some songs but I try not to jade the feedback by saying so until several comments are made. And sometimes, I never comment what I think.

As always, thanks to all posters!

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Bill
SmallGig.com
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As a songwriter, I need feedback on songs posted! Thanks!
_________________________
~ ~ ~
Bill

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#164979 - 01/21/07 11:04 AM Re: SONG: "An Hour And 20"
SemiLiveMusic Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 08/28/04
Posts: 2206
Loc: Louisiana, USA
Quote:
Originally posted by George V:
I do not understand what you mean by 'working demo'.


George, it means an unfinished product. Some people call them a "rough demo."

Often, I will post a song somewhere and specifically say "This is a work demo" so that they will not hammer me about the recording but just comment about the song. The demo is good enough to hear the song but not good enough to compete with studio releases.

Then, they will rip me apart about the recording! I don't want to know about the recording, I want to know about the song! Usually, these are on boards where I am literally up against full-blown studio demo's that cost $500 to $2,000 each. My work demo's can't compete with that. Thus, their comment isn't really helping and they've wasted their time, too.

However, I just had something happen that is interesting. I posted "I Wish You Enough" on a forum and a Nashville cat wrote back that he likes my tracks. And guess what... that song was recorded on a psr2000 on-the-fly. I didn't do anything but play and sing and record it all simultaneously! Kudo's for the seven year old arranger.

Thanks for your comments, George. I'll sure consider adding more voices!

------------------
Bill
SmallGig.com
:::
As a songwriter, I need feedback on songs posted! Thanks!
_________________________
~ ~ ~
Bill

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#164980 - 01/21/07 12:34 PM Re: SONG: "An Hour And 20"
DonM Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 06/25/99
Posts: 16735
Loc: Benton, LA, USA
Bill,
I guess it's just that the last few of your songs I listened to happened to be structurally more to my taste! You always have good ideas and themes.
Don
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DonM

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