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#195207 - 10/10/06 02:15 PM
Re: ot/ Smoking ban hits Scotland........
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Senior Member
Registered: 08/28/04
Posts: 2206
Loc: Louisiana, USA
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You reminded me of a goofy story song I wrote. Here's the lyric for your reading agony. I don't know if I have recorded a demo or not, don't recall.
This song was born from my musing one night at a bar, "Who the hell invented cigarettes? Who was this idiot?" I thought of a caveman, "Hey, Gonzo, let's pick some big leaves, dry them, roll them, light them, and suck smoke into our lungs. That oughta be nice!"
:::
“KEN THE CONMAN CAVEMAN” - Bill Pittman ©2004 Bill Pittman All rights reserved
Ken the conman caveman started it Ken invented booze and cigarettes First Dthing was blueberry beer Then found tobacco leaves grew here Told Gonzo, See these leaves, I got an idear
Ken said when they're dry, we'll roll 'em tight We'll light the end and suck with all our might Gonzo said Aw, come on, Ken Who would want to suck smoke in You're just drunk, your logic sure is thin
But Ken the conman caveman was a pro Drank blueberry beer, made Gonzo roll Movin' 'round the campfire there Dodging campfire smoke for air Gonzo said, See, Ken, smoke's bad, I swear
Soon, Gonzo 'as puffin' like a train Caveman peer pressure was to blame Then Ken said Let's hunt a deer We'll take cigarettes and beer They wheezed thru the forest, all could hear
A cigarette was dangling from his lip Gonzo said, Hey, Ken, we sure look hip Ken said Yeah, at caveman school I was voted Mr. Cool And when you got it, use it, that's a rule
Somehow, Ken got tangled up in vines Stompin' 'round, discovered he'd made wine Wine and cigarettes and beer Just like rednecks hunt a deer Where that came from, now, that much is clear
Yeah, Ken the conman caveman did us in Sold the rights to homo sapiens Adam fell for anything When it came to pleasing Eve And Eve said Ken was sexy, blowing rings
Ken and Gonzo fin'lly lost their mind Neanderthal, a victim of the vine Ken's wife, Barb cut off the kiss And Gonzo's wife stayed really pissed Booze and cigarettes did all of this
They all died without a single kid Thank God, Eve and Adam fin'lly did It could happen again, homo sapiens Ken the conman caveman started it
------------------ Bill Yamaha PSR2000
_________________________
~ ~ ~ Bill
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#195217 - 10/12/06 12:52 PM
Re: ot/ Smoking ban hits Scotland........
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Registered: 04/25/05
Posts: 14266
Loc: NW Florida
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Come to Florida....... we've had a ban on bar and restaurant smoking for several years. The bars didn't close, the restaurants are all still in business and no-one lost their gig.....
Captain Russ - porn IS legal in the US, just kiddie porn gets the well-deserved attention of the police. You can buy a Hustler or a Playboy without looking over your shoulders for The Man........ But you can't get a joint.
With alcohol, only the RESULTS of intoxication are penalized - DUI, public intoxication, murder, whatever.... But possession or purchase of the drug itself is no longer prohibited except for the young (and, in the US, even that is an absurd 21 years old now, not the 16 or 17 it used to be in the days of the Greatest Generation - Why, if they were the Greatest Generation, do we try to change everything they did?).
It is assumed that, even under the influence of alcohol, we are responsible for our actions. Why not other intoxicants? Strip the cartels and the drug lords of their profits, and watch the whole problem go away (mostly). THAT is the true lesson of Prohibition......
_________________________
An arranger is just a tool. What matters is what you build with it..!
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#195218 - 10/12/06 03:26 PM
Re: ot/ Smoking ban hits Scotland........
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Senior Member
Registered: 12/08/02
Posts: 15576
Loc: Forest Hill, MD USA
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For those of you who do not know much about tobaco farming, it's one of the few crops you can grow on a postage stamp size parcel of ground that has lousy soil and still make a good profit. In southern Maryland, most of the tobaco farms have been replaced with housing developments where McMansions have been placed on those tiny parcels of ground. The person who was selling tobaco retired on the profits from selling the farmland to a real-estate developer. An acre of ground anywhere within 50 miles of Washington, DC sells for nearly $500,000 U.S.. The homes that are being built on those properties sell for $1-million or more and the size of the homes ranges from 5,000 to 10,000 square feet. The irony of this is there are still a few small tobaco growers situated between the McMansion developments. Guess those growers are a bit like OMB performers--they'll never retire. Gary ------------------ Travlin' Easy
_________________________
PSR-S950, TC Helicon Harmony-M, Digitech VR, Samson Q7, Sennheiser E855, Custom Console, and lots of other silly stuff!
K+E=W (Knowledge Plus Experience = Wisdom.)
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#195221 - 10/15/06 08:42 AM
Re: ot/ Smoking ban hits Scotland........
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Member
Registered: 02/22/05
Posts: 51
Loc: Bozeman, MT USA
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Here's a blurb from Bob Newhart's famous Sir Walter Raleigh sketch:
"Are you saying "snuff," Walt? What's snuff? You take a pinch of tobacco (starts giggling) and you shove it up your nose! And it makes you sneeze, huh. I imagine it would, Walt, yeah. Goldenrod seems to do it pretty well over here. It has some other uses, though. You can chew it? Or put it in a pipe. Or you can shred it up and put it on a piece of paper, and roll it up - don't tell me, Walt, don't tell me- you stick in your ear, right Walt? Oh, between your lips! Then what do you do to it? (Giggling) You set fire to it! Then what do you do, Walt? You inhale the smoke! Walt, we've been a little worried about you...you're gonna have a tough time getting people to stick burning leaves in their mouth...."
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#195224 - 10/17/06 08:39 AM
Re: ot/ Smoking ban hits Scotland........
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Senior Member
Registered: 09/21/00
Posts: 43703
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#195225 - 01/30/07 02:06 AM
Re: ot/ Smoking ban hits Scotland........
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Senior Member
Registered: 09/21/00
Posts: 43703
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