when...

-- Before each gig, you find yourself warming up more parts of your body than you use to play your instrument.

-- It becomes more important to find a place onstage for your box fan than your amp.

-- During the second set, you scream for the drummer to please stop hitting those annoying cymbals.

-- You refuse to play out of tune.

-- Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round of golf.

-- Your fans have left by 10:30 p.m.

-- All you want from groupies is a foot massage.

-- You love shopping the dollar store because you can sing along to most of your playlist.

-- You hire band members for their values instead of their talent.

-- Instead of a fifth piece, your band wants to spring for a roadie with the extra money.

-- You've lost the directions to the gig.

-- Prepping for the gig involves plucking hair from your chin or nose.

-- Most of the hair you've plucked from your chin or nose is gray.

-- You need your glasses to see your amp settings.

-- You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage.

-- You're thrilled to have New Year's Eve off.

-- The waitress is your daughter.

-- You stop the set because your bottle of Ibuprofen fell behind the speakers.

-- Most of your crowd just sways in their seats.

-- You find your drink tokens from last month's gig in your guitar case.

-- You no longer use a tip jar.

-- You refuse to play without earplugs.

-- You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 p.m. instead of 9:30 p.m.

-- You want an opening act.

-- You check the TV schedule before booking a gig.

-- High notes make you cough.

-- Your gig stool has a back.

-- You're related to at least one other member of the band.

-- You need a nap before the gig.

-- You don't let anyone "sit in."

-- After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early.

-- During the breaks, you now go to your van to lay down.

-- You prefer a music stand with a light.

-- You don't recover until Tuesday afternoon.

-- You can't operate without a set list.

-- You say you double on bass.

-- You discourage playing longer than contracted.

-- You have a contract.

------------------
Bill
Yamaha PSR2000

Wooah, pal, now I'm taking that personally!

DonM

Hmmm... 22 out of 38.

Bill ... great job ... ..
t.

I resemble those remarks!

When does one OFFICIALLY become a geezer? I don't think I'm a geezer. I don't even think DonM is a geezer. But he's closing in on it, according to that list.

I did find myself laughing out loud at some of these. I am gaining on geezerhood. Which makes me very sad. Although, I did learn "She Effin Hates Me" by Puddle Of Mud recently. No lie, I really did. Does that make me immune from geezerhood? Or just lame? First time I heard that song a couple of years ago, I thought it was hilarious. Now, THAT'S youth's contribution to the classic she-done-me-wrong song. Ah, the time's they are a-changin'.

------------------
Bill
Yamaha PSR2000

Bill,

Gettin' old ain't fer whimps!

Gary

------------------
Travlin' Easy

Looks like I've been a "geezer" all my life.
It really hasn't been all that bad. My latest mission in life is to cram my "Cheesy Keyboard" down the throats of that smug Nashville Music Crowd. Anybody else notice the obvious prejudice towards keyboards in Nashville? They don't know the difference between an Arranger and a Synth... or a Kazoo for that matter. (Sorry for the rant!)

Dave Rice... "The Lone Arranger"

Dave ... Nashville is ALL about strings ... guitars, pedal steels, mandolins, fiddles ... although you do hear some great piano licks once in a while ...
t.


[This message has been edited by tony mads usa (edited 02-14-2006).]

Bill, the best-received new song I do is "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off". Go figure.
DonM