I was playing a senior care facility today when I had one resident (probably medicated) stand up and get right in my face for minutes blocking my view of the audience. This is not the first time, and I realize most don’t know what they’re doing so I lay the blame on the staff who are sitting around in their own world and doing their own thing and not paying attention.

But I’m being paid to entertain so I‘m dedicated to what I do, no different from the rest of you.

I tend to get a little bothered when things like this happen when they don‘t have to. What are YOUR OWN senior care facility annoyances that don’t have to “happen” when you’re performing? And how do YOU deal with it?

Here’s some of mine:

1) attendants who sit there reading a book or magazine while one of the residents gets up and stands right in front of you and is about to trip over the wires or fall on your keyboard

2) attendants who talk loudly amongst themselves or who enter the room and start talking across it while you’re performing

3) attendants who interrupt the flow of the music for the resident to serve them the customary cake dessert. It takes time to engage the concentration of the listeners and then you lose it when they’re interrupted for sweets.

4) AD’s who forget to submit your invoice and it takes you two months (when you don’t get a check in the mail) to find out.

On #3 above, I’m undecided on this one…I could be wrong. What do you think?

Lucky

Glad to see that 2 is not only confined to Australia.

Another annoyance is to turn up and find that they are not expecting you.

Cousin Ken

Did once only, back in 1999 and NEVER AGAIN
even if they bought me a Wersi Scala.
I missunderstood them at the time, i thought it
was a SCF and i ended up in a crazy house,
almost lost my equipement.

Once you begin to lose sensitivity to the seniors and the job becomes the important issue it may be time for you to find other places to bring your talent.
Understanding is not enough, you must feel for them and pray that if ever reach their position someone will be kind to you.

John C.

Very well said John!
Wally

From doing this 14 years or so, I have some thoughts on this...

1) Being left alone: We should never, ever be left alone during an activity with either an assisted living or traditional nursing home crowd. Too many things can go wrong and its not our responsibility to correct them. Fact is, we're not technically allowed to even push a wheelchair. When I'm left alone, I make sure to alert the AD that I'm not comfortable with it. In the few cases where it persisted, I dropped the account.

2) Inattentiveness of Activity Staff: Residents will get up and wander, especially in secured Alztheimers Units. Awareness is key...Memory Loss patients are erratic, quickly agitated and at times physically violent. Always pay attention when your playing on these units. For the average nursing home jobs, usually I'll just calmly announce over the mic that "Joe" needs a hand getting back to his seat, can you help him?" Usually does the trick...

3) Attendees talking loudly/interrupting the show: If its work related that's one thing, if its just two employees gabbing rudely with each other, I'll point them out and invite them to come up front and help me out. They usually quickly pipe down or leave, lol...(Family members can be a big pain in the ass. Too often they'll come in and try and visit with the resident in the middle of the program and their conversation distracts the other residents. This is a touchy one to go after, so I usually just let it go...)

4) Serving of food: Doesn't bother me in the least. If you've got some big dramatic ballad or hymn or something, save it for when they're done serving food. My biggest problem related to this is when the residents drop their drinks to clap along or something, lol...Likewise, taking a resident to the restroom for example also doesn't bother me at all.

5) In the US, we have something called "HIPPA" which protects patients privacy. You should know that it is a violation of the HIPPA code for a nurse to administer any meds to a resident during an activity. If a state surveyor witnesses it, it will certainly be noted.

6) Billing: Yes, this isn't nearly as efficient as it should be. Any payment rendered within 30-45 days is very reasonable. The important thing for me is an awareness of how a particular client processes check requests. If I'm told it'll be in my hands in 30 days, that's great-I'll plan accordingly. If the standard is to hand it to me that day, and then you tell me "Oh by the way, I don't have your check, because XXXXXXXXX...." Well, I'm not happy about it. Contracts can help sometimes. In my area, most clients will throw up on their shoes if you start asking them for contracts. In other areas, like where Mr. Diamond is, contracts are common.

For most of the issues you mentioned, a cordial chat with your activity director should help...

Cheers-

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Bill in Dayton

I have to say ditto - definitely.

I can add something else I have experienced several times in the last couple months at two facilities.

In the middle of my performance a staff member will come and ask each resident if they want to leave the performance for Holy Communion!

At one facility, the priest has interrupted my performance twice to give communion right there. Then I go right into "You Ain't Nothin' But a Hound Dog." Crazy.

Beakybird

I think all that Lucky was getting at was things that can cause distractions during a program where we're trying our best to provide these terrific folks some entertainment and diversion during their day.



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Bill in Dayton

I've never had that happen, lol...

Perfect choice of tune though to come right back with.

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Bill in Dayton

quote:Originally posted by Beakybird:
I have to say ditto - definitely.

I can add something else I have experienced several times in the last couple months at two facilities.

In the middle of my performance a staff member will come and ask each resident if they want to leave the performance for Holy Communion!

At one facility, the priest has interrupted my performance twice to give communion right there. Then I go right into "You Ain't Nothin' But a Hound Dog." Crazy.

Beakybird



How insensitive and tasteless of both of you
... regardless of YOUR religious beliefs, the people who elect to receive Holy Communion are also receiving emotional and spiritual comfort ... and if the Priest happens to come in at the time you are playing, then SO BE IT ! ...
Perhaps a more fitting song would be "Amazing Grace" !!!

t.

Hold on Tony...

Should the whole performance come to a halt out of respect for the person receiving Communion? What about the other attendees of the activity who might not be of the Catholic faith and don't want to have to wait until the Communion is finished?

Also, you don't know a damn thing about either one of our religious beliefs so get down off your high horse and relax.

The bottom line is its grossly mis-managed for a religious service to be administered in the middle of another, separate event. The situation as Larry described should never happen, period. Most of our activities occur in a dining room or a large group area. In many homes, there's a chapel that a resident who wanted Communion could be relocated to...or, what about their room?

As I said, what happened to Larry hasn't ever happened to me. BUT, I play 1-2 hymns a show and I always come back with something that you'd never expect afterwards. Tequila and In The Mood are two favorites that go over smashingly well.

If we were performing during a Church Service, then of course it would be different-

We're not stupid, lol...



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Bill in Dayton

Tony, I'm a big fan of yours, but I think your comment needs some tempering. First of all, it's insensitive for the priest to interrupt another event, even with Holy Communion. But I know many priests who, unfortunately, feel they are the only person in the world who matters, especially when doing their "job." I feel it is they who are disrespecting the Blessed Sacrament moreso than a performer. Secondly, if the priest feels he has no other option but to interrupt, I'm sure he understands the predicament he is putting himself, the patient and the performer into. Lastly, as a staunchly religious man (and 40 yrs a Catholic organist), I think if this was a rare occurence, I'd try to play something not quite of the "Hound Dog" genre right then. I'm sure that even if I had a setlist, I could/would work around the situation. I would discuss the event with the AD so as not to draw attention to any of the participants in either situation. I would rather have the nurses ask residents if they wanted to leave than feel uncomfortable playing 'rock' music during a solemn time - even for one patient.

A quick Amazing... or How Great... could be a real tension releaser for all.

Bill ... perhaps my 'knee jerk' response was a little too quick, BUT:
1) I never said your performance had to come to a halt or that others had to stop what they were doing... If the Priest wants to give Communion without disrupting your performance I don't see a problem with that...
2)If the staff wants to take people out to the Chapel for this, I don't see a problem with that either ...
3) And while you have every right to consider it disrespectful for your performance to be interrupted, I still think it is disrespectful to play a song like "You Ain't Nothin' But a Hound Dog" when it is in reference to ANY Minister/Priest/Rabbi or other representative of ANY religion - JMHO ...

On another note, have you ever heard "Amazing Grace" sung to the the tune of "House of the Rising Sun" ... certain kind of irony putting the two together

t.

PS To some it may be a 'high horse' attitude, but to me it is a sensitivity that grows as I get older ... just one of my many failings I guess ...
t.

It's amazing how every discussion ends in argument

You are so right. If a person's intent is to come to the forum looking to complain about something --- they can find it on any topic posted here.

Jerry

Just passionate discussion ... you know how passionate we arranger players are about EVERYTHING ...

t.

You LIKE me ... you mean you LIKE me ?!?!? ... ...

t.

PS I think we are on the same track on this ...
t.

Tony -

I didn't interpret Larry's original post to mean he specifically played "Hound Dog" towards the priest. Rather, I took it more like he was ready to play a upbeat/rocker and that's what he was going to play regardless if the ceremony had occurred or not.

If he specifically picked that song just because the Priest was giving communion during the activity, then I'll just say No, I wouldn't endorse that at all.

But like I said, I play two hymns most every show...very respectively and I'm told with "the spirit" and then I'll follow it up with a tequila or in the mood or something. I'll usually say "now here's a song you almost never hear after "In The Garden" and if you do, I wanna know where you go to church!

A good time is had by all...

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Bill in Dayton

I was pretty much joking around with the Hound Dog thing. I just carry on with my show in a normal manner.

Now I'm Jewish, so I don't do Amazing Grace unless it's requested.

This interruption for communion hasn't happened to anyone else?

Anyway, if I come across as sacrilegious, just know that there are limits to my irreverance.

Beakybird

Let's just say I agree we are on the same track on this one... lol

My last comment on this subject ...

quote: "At one facility, the priest has interrupted my performance twice to give communion right there. Then I go right into "You Ain't Nothin' But a Hound Dog." Crazy.

If I misinterpreted that, I apologize ...
t.

[This message has been edited by tony mads usa (edited 04-04-2009).]

One two cha cha cha. You either like this or you don't. I personally didn't enjoy drunks in nightclubs either but when you take a job, a certain amount of "stuff" comes with it. When seniors do unpredictable things to me, I usually turn it completely around and everyone has a great laugh. I had someone grab my balls one time while I was walking through the room. We still laugh about it today. Seniors are a unique group of people and they can be a hell of a lot of fun.

Joe

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Songman55
Joe Ayala

Two things... I think a priest interrupting your performance to perform communion is no different than you interrupting his service to play a rocker!

And, I'm sorry, but although I am Christian, I would have no problem playing a Jewish hymn or song if requested...

You might also take a look at the history of the hymn Amazing Grace http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amazing_Grace ... For any people that have come out of slavery, it's story should resonate.

BTW, I would also recommend the movie "Amazing Grace" which chronicles the anti-slavery movement in Britain. Very touching, and very apropos these days...

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Diki:

And, I'm sorry, but although I am Christian, I would have no problem playing a Jewish hymn or song if requested...

I previously posted that I do play Amazing Grace when it's requested, but otherwise, being Jewish, I don't gravitate towards Church songs. I don't do them unless I know them and it's requested.

Anyway, back to the thread, I get annoyed by so many things - mostly because of a big ego, but it goes with the territory when you're a small fry in professional music. I mean Bruce Springstein can specify in his contract what brand of yogurt and what flavor is in the fridge. I'm lucky if they bring me a glass of water after I've requested one.

Beakybird

I've been playing nursing homes for a few years. My wife is an 'Activity Director'
& she always tells me that this is the residents home and anyone coming in is a 'guest'
I always contact the AD 2-3 days before playing to confirm time, date, and fee. Just a couple of days ago, I was setting up and another musician rolled his equipment in. The AD told him he was a month early lol!Regarding getting paid, I always ask for payment the same day I play-no invoices-no delay. Ad know what you charge & know when you are coming, so it should not be a problem. Regarding activity when your playing (Cake/Juice served, people talking and so on), as my wife says, this is their home, so many things can be going on when performing-so just smile and entertain. I use a little Rolls MX 122 mixer
to mix voice and keyboard. Other than the 'line outputs' for the powered speakers, this unit has a phone level control & I use Sony earbuds to monitor my sound. I simply set the line level to make the AD happy & set the headphone level for me-so I have no sound level problems.

When I first read Lucky’s post I was angry, I wanted to vent my anger. After much thought I knew that I needed to clarify what I was feeling, I needed to separate performing music from the elderly, and then express my feelings.

On this forum we get a lot of flack no matter what the subject and I feel it is part of a game and it is healthy, it one of the reasons people like to hang out. Each personality is portrayed by his post and we are left with entertainment. And we do gather much needed information here.

Now let’s separate what I feel is in good taste according to my views. There have been so many jobs that I have played over the last 40 years that I could complain about – injustice – people being rude – drunks, and the list goes on. It is all part of the job and some complaining does makes it feel a bit better.

Seniors and all that goes surrounds them fall in a special category and they are not to be treated without a great deal of compassion. We are talking about people who have lived life and are now facing an existence that takes away the dignity they once lived with. They do things that they do not understand and have feelings and responses that at times nobody understands. I hold these people and the people who take care of them in a very special place. I honor and respect them in many ways.

And this I know – The wheel turns, and one day we will all step into their position and at that time we will hope and pray for gentle treatment.

Three things:
1-I am 77 and not one of them yet. ha ha ha (Grin)
2-And I do understand Lucky’s frustration, this post is not directed towards him.
3-A N D Lucky, don’t be afraid of Amazing Grace it could turn your job into a fantastic success.

Only in IMHO, John C.

I think some of you guys are being a little unfair to Larry. He's already said he DOES play Amazing Grace and other Christian based hymns when they're requested. I have no earthly clue where the perception that he's afraid to play Amazing Grace comes from.

Larry has a full schedule performing in his very competitive market. Apparently he is satisfying both the activity directors and the residents.

John-I respect your views on servicing the aged. I agree with much of what you said. I've visited with so many wonderful older folks through the years that I've been playing for them, I can't come close to recalling them all. One thing does seem to be a constant with them. They do not want to be treated like a nursing home patient who is in the last stage of their life. There's enough staff / family around to do that, lol...

Rather, they want to have fun and reminisce about their happier times-whatever/whenever they might be. We as musicians take them on a trip down memory lane. If we're good at what we do, we should be able to divert their attention for an hour back to those better days.

Yes, our audiences should be respected and honored at all times. No question about it. I personally think that if all the staff people we see when we're at these facilities did their jobs as well as we do ours, the residents would fare far better. Fact is, some of the aids, nurses and yes---Activity Directors---are lousy and disinterested in their jobs and the patients pay the freight for that. Stupid stuff happens all the time. What Larry described with the priest is off the wall. In 14 years and 380+ shows per year (about 5400 jobs in all) I've never seen what he described. If Gary or Donny or Zuki or Larry or I told that tale to most of our activity directors they'd just shake their heads.

Gord-How many performances do you do in a month? Do you simply refuse to take on any accounts that won't/can't pay you on the day of the event? We'd all like to be paid the day we play, but when you get to the point that you're doing this 30+ times a month, IMO you're bound to come across a handful of clients who's accounting system isn't set up to pay entertainers on the day of the performance. I'd estimate that at least 60% of my accounts pay within 15-30 days after the job, which in the business world is fairly quick.

You also mentioned you don't use invoices, which is also surprising. In this area, (Dayton, OH), most of my clients do require invoices.




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Bill in Dayton

Hi Bill-I'm only out by myself to nursing homes a few times a month. I also play guitar/keyboards with a Irish group in town. http://www.ceolnaheireann.ca/
Years ago I played with a 4 piece group-for various service clubs,weddings and so on. Everyone wanted to get paid when we played, so we generally asked for cash and of course would sign a receipt if requested. Most of the nursing homes in this area simply give me a cheque-some will give cash & for those I sign a receipt. As far as they are concerned, a cancelled cheque is their receipt. I have no objection with sending an invoice -it's just that I've never had to do it.

I think one or two of you have misinterpreted this posting, so I will say it in a different way.

When I first started playing nursing homes 15 years ago, I was green and raw, as in play the job, collect your check, and on to the next gig. Over the years, I began to understand the real meaning of what I was doing. Then someone said to me that “every song I play” brings back a memory to someone. I took a closer look at the people as I was playing for them. Sure enough I could see a smile on some of their faces, sometimes vague sometimes larger than life. These were the semi-conscious…the alert ones made it obvious. Nowadays I go into a home and make a game of trying to connect with as many as I can on a “one-to-one,” even though I’m playing for a large audience.

A tip here for anyone who could use it. I never play a song that at least 90% of the listeners don’t recognize...there’s plenty of them to do in one hour. And I NEVER, NEVER play a song simply because I like it, or to throw something different into the mix.

That said: the reason for the posting was NOT to complain about playing for elderly people. If you’ve just read the above, then I’m sure you’ll understand my point: I work extremely hard for that one hour…I don’t just “throw out songs!” I put them into a “mood” and don’t let go until I’m done.

That’s what I do with a bit of luck. Without “a bit of luck,” I get the staff who start talking loud while I’m playing something mellow, and those staff who live in their own world and see nothing outside of their nails need to be done, etc. In short, these are “distractions” to the people no matter what form they come in (including Holy Communion during your performance). Ever try listening to Classical music with those kinds of “distractions.” Not very enjoyable!

Many of these folks have nothing to do all day. If you can give them one solid hour of good music to get their minds off the boredom, then you’ve done your good deed for the day!

Anyhow, the thread went off already. I’m curious about what some of you experience as your own “frustrations” in playing Senior houses. Nothing more than that if you don’t mind. Particularly no “Once you begin to lose sensitivity to the seniors and the job becomes the important issue it may be time for you to find other places to bring your talent” messages.

Many of you here, I believe are doing what I’m doing. I’d like to hear from you. I’d like to get a exchange of ideas going for all of us to benefit.

Lucky

Great post here Bill....really good post! I'm sure many here got a mouthful from a real pro!



1)That's going to be my first "change" by necessity at this point!

2)How on Earth did I not think of something as simple as that? Another change coming up!

3)With this situation, I'm going to do what one of my friends does. He raises his voice and forcefully asks them to stop talking...that they're interfering with his performance!

4) Bill, the "jury is still out for me on this one"...been wrestling with it for a while now! My attitude on this is: Why should the residents only have 60 minutes of music and then it's all over? Why shouldn't they have 60 minutes of music and then 30 minutes of ice cream and cake for a total of 90 minutes? I'm still interested in hearing opinions on this.

5) That's very interesting. I wasn't aware of that. That IS one of my "annoyances." Often enough they think nothing of meandering through my audience looking for "victims."

6) I just have one thing to add about getting your check. It's becoming a nightmare trying to keep track of them. First you leave an invoice or FAX it over, it sometimes gets lost due to inattention, you don't find out your check is "not in the system" for another month when you don't get it! Then you have to start the whole process all over again. Where I live they're very sloppy about the whole thing, and you can't tell the AD's where to get off if you value your rest-of-the-year bookings.

Lucky

Thanks again, Bill. That IS what I meant!

Lucky

Donny.......my exact thoughts. I opened up this discussion NOT to "dump" but to get some constructive ideas about what others are going through playing the senior places. It seems you can't get beyond 2-3 posts before the thread "goes South."

Sometimes I wonder are folks here to play music and get better at it, or are they here just to twist the posts around so they can validate and support some rebuttal that has nothing to do with the original post!

Lucky

Hey Beaky....nice humble response....I love "humble!"

Bill...I really had to comment on this one last post of yours. You've really got your finger on the pulse with most everything you said here.

Again, I live in a highly congested area where musicians don't share ANYTHING with each other. Truth is I don't think most of them even think....OR.....think about anything but their paycheck!

Reading what you wrote here is pretty much everything I go through. Nice to hear someone else does too, though I just wish it weren't that way and we were free to concentrate on the playing.

Lucky

Comments on...

#3) You get more bees with honey than vinegar, Larry. I would NOT do what your friend does as it sounds a little confrontational and borderline rude. I try to...in what I've been told is more of a charming/cutesy way give them a friendly, lighthearted "hint" that I would kind of like them to perhaps stop talking. I never know for certain what they're talking about, but I have pretty good instincts.

#4) There's a few reasons for most of the programs maxing out at an hour.

*Comfort of residents: Rest room issues, butt issues (as in sitting too long on their butts is uncomfortable), etc...

*Logistics: Most nursing homes we play at put us in the dining room right? We usually start at 2:00pm/2:30pm, right? That means an hour program wraps up at 3:30pm, and with cleanup...now you're looking at 4:00pm. Dietary/foodservice has a job to do too and we need to clear out of Dodge so they can set the dining room up and get ready for dinner, which is usually serving around 5:00pm...

#5) I wouldn't think of them as "looking for victims." Aids and nurses have tough jobs to do and they're typically overloaded with more patients they (Or the State, quite often) want them taking care of. Its not just mgt. trying to squeeze payroll...look how often you see "NOW HIRING" signs on the marquees, front door, etc. My wife used to work at a nursing home on her way up the nursing ladder. Sure, there are times when they use poor judgment ...absolutely...

#6) I use Quickbooks for my accounting software and I'd be lost without it. There's several quality, affordable products available which can really streamline things. Typically, they'll also provide you with valuable reports about sales, customer activity, trends etc.



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Bill in Dayton

I don't play nursing homes or assisted living places at all. I've been the primary caregiver for two family members for 15 years.

"For profit" establishments, in my opinion, are the "bottom of the barrel" when it comes to medical related issues. And, the problems are not related to the prices charged or the income/wealth of the resident. Most places are sub-standard, at best. That's part of the problem. "For profit" places fight as hard as they can to avoid establishment of care standards.

I can see that it would be a good thing to bring a little enjoyment to residents, but I decided to get very active in working towards legislation changes to try to get a handle on
blatent incompetency, lack of compassion and a focus on profits above all else.

I choose to donate the proceeds of one job a week ($250+) to a group that lobbies for increased training, oversight and overall accountability. This way, an individual makes the check out to the 501(c), so it is tax deductible. Last year, the donation was over $13,000.00. I kick in another $12,000.00 from my pocket.

The nursing home and senior care lobby is strong and well-funded. What a shame they don't devote some of the millions in funds spent on their lobby efforts to improve care.

I pop into nursing homes every day, and the problems are blatent and potentially life threatening. I have done this for over 15 years.

Things may look fine when you visit casually. When you look at state inspection ratings or the newly established Federal rating system, you find that things are not as they seem at first glance.

I can't in good conscious accept payment for playing and, by "osmosis" be a part of most of these despicable places.

It is a national trajedy, and I'm working with a lot of very dedicated people nationally to do what we can to fix it.

Our seniors deserve much better treatment than they're getting.

Sorry for the rant....

Russ

I applaud your charitable work towards improving this industry. To put one's money where your mouth is deserves credit.

I would ask you to reconsider not sharing your skills with these folks however. The residents in the wheelchairs, or in the beds surely aren't culpable in the "dirty business" of the bean counters, are they?

IMO, they aren't in any way shape or form.

So, take all the frustration and contempt you feel towards the upper mgt. types and what you have left is a lot of good people trying to get through the day...Both patients and staff alike.

I don't think its an "either/or" situation. You could absolutely positively impact many residents lives with your talents and then divert the same money they pay you with to the reform effort you feel so strongly about.

I agree totally with what you say about "a closer look" not being so pretty as the fancy lobby or well groomed lawns. But joy is joy, man...

You don't think the people in your area would benefit from your playing for them?

Sure they would...In this instance, you can have your cake AND eat it too...

Again, great work with the donations you make...



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Bill in Dayton

Bill, the nusing homes and assisted living facilities around here pay $100.00 for an hour. My private jobs (where the donatios come from) pay $250.00 minimum, so my contribution to the legislation effort is much stronger by doing it my way. Plus, there seems to be plenty of folks who either "volunteer" or play for little or nothing. I've heard a lot and most are awful.

Besides, I'm well known in all area homes. They know why I'm there. They get really uncomfortable at bad ones when I show up. I've had several shut down for out-and-out abuse. And, things often improve when I point out omissions. Recently, for instance, I wrote the administration of a VA (actually, a for profit place contracted to the State of Kentucky who contracts with the Federal Government to care for vets) about the elimination of bibs at all meals and the feeding of pork products to a resident who wasn't supposed to get it (it was right on his meal ticket, but ignored).
One place only gives liquid to residents at meals if I get on their case. Some residents have been hospitalized multiple times with dehydration just this year. I write trip reports detailing the neglect and abuses and have testified at Senate hearings on the matter. I literally can't be in most of these places 10 minutes without spotting neglect and, often, abuse.

My time is much better served by working towards changes in training and care level requirements.

I have favorites at each home I visit. I take each one of them treats. I know what they like and what they can have (diabetic situations, etc.). I replace missing-worn out clothes, buy TV's where families are responsible for supplying them, etc.

Understand, I think anyone who plays for residents of nursing homes and assisted living facilities is doing a good thing.

Making these places better has become a major focus of my life. And to do that, I devote about 20 hours a week on-site.

I want the jerks who run some of these places to look twice when I walk in. And, I don't think they'd offer me a paying job or do anything to encourage additional visits.

And I intend to work as hard and as long as I can to get standards in place across the industry to correct rampant problems.


Russ



[This message has been edited by captain Russ (edited 04-06-2009).]

Captain Russ this is a world wide problem here
in Australia is a case in point,

I have a 34 year old quad. son who goes into nursing homes to give my wife and I respite twice a year and I wince as the time approaches for him to go in.

Some are better than others.

At one establishment where he no longer goes he would stink when I visited him so I go and bath him twice a week when he is out of our care and take care of a little job for him while I am there.

He always has trouble with his bowels when he come home and it takes quite a while to get the routine back to normal.

I am 75 years old and I dread the time when we are no longer able to take care of him.

I do not know how you fit in all these good things you do and I admire you for it.

Cousin Ken

Hang in there, Ken. No one can fully understand how bad things are until they visit frequently.

I believe that most people with loved ones in these places end up not visiting often because they really don't want to face the seriousness of the situation.

I admire you for your devotion to your child.


R.

I did 20 gigs last year and had all the problems you faced.Im a very acomadating chap ,but a couple of times I was left on my own with about 15 ladies who were in a bad way.One wanted to leave the room-I wasnt THAT bad,then another pair were having a little tiff over room position,another practically fell out of her chair and I had to come to the rescue and call for help!
Billing.ha thats the main reason I have stopped doing these gigs.My wife was on top of the billing but when the cheque didnt arrive within 3 months a follow up call showed that they forgot,lost etc.Once we were owed for 3 visits,it turns out that the money was sent to another entertainer in another county who has promptly spent it.Chas

In my 3rd year of playing for the elderly, sick and needy, I've become more thrilled with the opportunity to bring joy to others. Some of these people have NO ONE - they wait for me to come to get a hug. It is very humbling and a place where God wants me - this I've never been more sure of.

I hear you, bro! You must be playing the same circuit I am!

Lucky

Captain Russ, Well Done.
I admire your attitude to your fellow man.
let me tell you about my first professional engagement.
I was offered the opportunity to play some music at a Conv. Home once a fortnight. I was asked how much I charged. I thought about this for a while, and told them i would play an hour for $15.00.I would have done this for free, but not knowing what I was getting into, I thought I could always reduce my charge to zero if that was appropriate at a later date. This Establishment was a private company, and I wanted to evaluate what would be appropriate under the circumstances.
While I was still employed part time in the Education System at this stage, it meant that I had to leave my job early, shower, travel to the venue, arrange my equipment up two floors, perform for 1 hour , and get back home again for $15.00.
The money was not an issue with me, as I said, I would do it for zero, if that is what they were happy with. But after a break at Christmas Time, I was told they had a new Occupational Therapist ( A,D, to you)and would be going in a new direction.
I have no doubt that the residents enjoyed my input, because before that, they had community singing without any music, and that was the purpose of my contribution, to provide music with their singing.
I always remember one lady who complained loudly when she was seated at the rear of the room and could not hear, but at the end of that day, made a point of saying to me as she left the room,"You played real good son, I enjoyed it immensely".
My day was complete.
As far as other comments have been made, I believe the overall problem comes back to the attitude and obligation of Staff in relation to/and organisation of the activities in their day to day programming, to avoid conflict with what is scheduled in their daily routine, and to avoid any conflict of interests.
Just my 2 cents worth
Ray

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Ray The Saint

Guys-Seriously, billing/receivables can be a pain in the ass, but it shouldn't be THAT bad.

In 14+ years of 350+ gigs per year, I've probably had less than five accounts go more than 6 weeks.

I'll start a fresh thread on getting paid at nursing homes, so it doesn't take away from this one...



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Bill in Dayton

And then you played "Great balls of fire", right?