Hammer,
There are no words to I can say at this time, your loss can only be felt by another who has lived the nightmare. I pray that you gather strength so that you can support those in your family. Please stay focused on the help they need.
Most of the people I know who have lived through a terrible tragedy have a renewed view on the life and world they live in; their values change. Most are for the better. I pray that this would be you.
Hammer, sincerely, I feel some of your pain.
John C.