I couldn't get half way through that 'thing' ... I will NEVER understand why people post stuff like that on you tube or ANYWHERE ... are they so in need of attention - even if it is BAD?!?!?
I’m still reeling from the cocktail party/social event I did at a friend’s house Friday night. It was advertised as “piano entertainment” but open to anyone who plays an instrument.
No sooner did I take my first break then Bill asks if he could play, as he “needs to entertain when he’s around people.” He had a “night club” spiel, but his playing and singing was completely off key. I couldn’t take more than 10 minutes of him. When I said to him, I’m going back on in 5 minutes, he replied (as he slammed down the cover) “you can play right now!” He also stormed out the front door.
Next was Susan, self-taught pianist. She taught herself how to play, but forgot to teach herself how to play to an audience! She played great songs, but...boom, boom, boom one song after another. No intro’s, endings, breaks, dynamics...nothing to indicate she was changing songs. Heck she even played Beer Barrel Polka in the same way she played Love is a Many-Splendored thing. After 30 songs, even I couldn’t tell where one ended and the other began. I politely told her I was returning to the piano. She obliged me. That was an easy one!
Then Artie the guitarist. Nice fellow, polite, respectful, but was too frightened to play his 70’s repertoire without me playing behind him. At least he left the stage without me having to call a bouncer.
Now, Jimmy the Fiddler. Wrote his own Karaoke backing tracks and proceeded to play the fiddle to each track. After 15 minutes of that, I yelled over to him that it was “time to go.” He made like he didn’t hear me. I had to pour ice water over his head!
Patricia, the children’s and nursing home entertainer. Does When You’re Smiling and Hello Dolly. I had difficulty backing her up, because I had to use my hands to cover my ears. She sounded like a man who sounded like a woman! I’m like in Bb and she’s somewhere in R#. Two songs was all she was going to get from me!
Richard, big husky Richard with the big, baritone voice and a bag full of CD’s to sell. I figured I couldn’t go wrong with him...professional...I thought. He sang Some Enchanted Evening and The Way You Look Tonight...badly. Swallowed his words and choked on some of them. His excuse: Couldn’t sing with an “accompanist he didn’t know and hadn’t worked with previously.” At least he got off the stage under his own volition.
The last act...Lucky and Florence. He’s an old time vaudeville pianist/singer from Brazil, probably about 110 years old and “sings in 27 languages“ (unfortunately English not being one of them). She’s an ex-dancer from England, maybe a year younger than him. So while she did Zumba movements, he hammered away at that piano for 45 minutes. By then I was too tired to even chase him off the stage. I gave up the fight!
Here’s my point: I was relaying all that to a music friend the next morning and asked her “WHY…..on Earth, do I need a “hook” to get these people off stage?” (the fiddle player I had to hit over the head with a broomstick after I drowned him in ice water). The answer: “this is a day and age when people are plain self-centered and full of themselves. They care about no one around them, and are going to do what pleases them, no matter who else has to suffer through it. In short, welcome to the “ME” generation!
My friend is more in touch then I am! Heck, I still think Teddy Roosevelt is President.
Anyhow, I wrote all this out, because it’s easier to do this than to go to therapy. I’m still recovering from it all! I swear....that’s the first and last time I allow my benevolence to supersede my own playing! I'll drink a gallon of bleach before I let that happen again!
Mark
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