To the OP... I think you are expecting too much for someone that fits your criteria, creative, expressive, original, playing from the heart, and then expect them to play an arranger! The exact OPPOSITE of all of that...
Players that fit your criteria play with REAL musicians. Not machines.
And I feel sorry for those who have to "play with real musicians!"
Some of the remarks in this WHOLE thread brought back to my mind WHY I became a OMB in my early 20s. I was playing in a wedding band. I was ambitious, dedicated, anxious to make beautiful music. I liked the guys in the band but, unfortunately, all they wanted to do was take cigarette breaks, drink on the job, talk to women, play their songs in a most predictable way, not practice during the week, and, on top of all that, bicker and throw darts at each other (just like is done here sometimes!).
Well, one day I was walking past my local music store and saw my first "drum machine" (a Maestro as I recall). I instantly realized THAT was my calling. I bought it and converted to OMB-ism. From then on I got to work with my creative self as compared to having to align myself to what others are doing.
It was the best decision I ever made. I got to express all of the above (creative, expressive, original, playing from the heart,) because I chose to go it alone. I got to play all over Western Europe for years as a first-class accordionist and OMB. I got to play French musette accordion in Paris, Bierkellars in Germany, Italian love songs in Italy, paso dobles and tangos in Spain, etc. Something I could never have done if I subscribed to the "Players that fit your criteria play with REAL musicians...not machines" school of thought!
I DO miss the "ideas" one gets from playing with others...I think I could have been so much better had I done that. But, making the decision to be a OMB means total "freedom." You report to no one but yourself, you account to no one, you play what you want, and you play it with whatever feeling you can muster up!
Playing as a OMB is neither a demotion or a promotion. It is simply a "decision" as to where you want to direct your music ability.
And, one more thing. Diki, it doesn't take a lot of talent to do your part in a band. But, it
DOES take a lot of talent to BE the band yourself, doing
everything....yourself!