The thing I hate about solo jobs is that you are usually within reach from public members. I get scared whilst playing a $5k rig and there is a drunk who bought me a beer staggering towards me, you all know the feeling. What do I do? stop playing get up and take it from them, or run the risk of a spill and electrical catastrophe!

at one show last year at an Alzheimer's clinic I had to be FULLY circled with chairs to prevent resident intrusion into my performance space....once the music started it was like the last scene of the night of the living dead,..they all were coming at me with their arms out in front, ....very scary nurses all outside smoking!!

I've met some smoking nurses at Alzheimer's facilities.

Gary

I'll tell you about New Year's terror. Last year I played at a party in Oklahoma and my FIRST EX-WIFE was there.
Actually we get along fine now that the shock treatments have her condition under control.
Somebody stop me, I'm on a roll here.
The first part of that was even true. We're on good terms though. I was supposed to play the same party this year, but opted out when it looked like they were having an ice storm "up" there.

For anyone who missed it when I first posted this story a number of months ago, this happened last summer . . .

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Try this one, then. This happened about six weeks ago at a NH gig. The residents in this part of the facility are at the more advanced assisted care level.

So there we are setting up and a little lady comes up and the conversation goes like this:

"Excuse me, is that your wife over there?"
"Yes, that's my lovely lady." I reply.

So the lady toddles over to my wife and says, "I hope you don't mind but I have a question for you. You won't be offended, will you?"

Taking it lightly, my wife says, "Okay, how can I help?"

Then, straight out, this little old lady asks, "Could I have sex with your husband?"

My wife, quite taken aback by this, but ever cool, says gently, "No, not today, dear."

To which the lady replies, "Well okay, but that's my room over there. I'll leave the door open if you change your mind."

So, we play the hour gig and were joking about it with one of the staff afterwards and, laughing, she said, "Oh, that must've been M*****. It's not the first time she's approached our entertainers."

Just when you think you've seen it all, eh?

Donny,
Had to laugh about the chairs. Had the same type of event and used tables. In my case there were two residents who absolutely refused to stay away from any of the entertainers. Eventually the staff did not allow them to attend events.

We could all write books.

Deane

A bigger problem for me was always small children. Either unattended or barely watched by indifferent parents who are afraid to tell their kids to stop running on and off the stage. Usually happens when I'm on a break but is not limited to that. One knocked over my EV sub/satellite stack and sent my zx1 bouncing off the stage and across the dance floor. I got a mild "sorry" from the parents who, in ten minutes, were back to drinking and not watching there kids running up again. I had to get picnic benches and stack them in front of the stage like barricades. This was outdoors under a large pavilion. Caught another one pressing on keys and
pushing buttons in on $8g accordion..

When I was young- I might have tried something like that ONCE somewhere, but Dad made sure I learned not to do it again ...

There was a time, back when I played every Friday Night at a local American Legion, I had purchased theater poles and plastic chain that strung through the poles. It kept the drunks away from me, and other band members when I had the band. Their was, of course, always the occasional Ahole that ducked under the chain to approach the stage. Usually, the barmaid would get his undivided attention by grabbing him by the back of his shirt, or some other body part. She was a tall, skinny, country gal that could really handle anyone that got out of line. And, she always did it with a great sense of humor and a big smile. Loved that lady in those situations.

Gary

Deane its a warzone out there in the trenches LOLOL

These worked great for me for many years - and the guy that eventually took my place at the American Legion bought them from me. The poles sold for about $20 each and the plastic chain was about $1.50 per foot. Everything is plastic, and they weigh next to nothing, but they did take up a fair amount of room in the van.



Gary