Have any of you ever played a funeral gig with your arranger? Last Friday myself and a clarinet player played a funeral gig. The deceased's daughter wanted music played that was from her deceased fathers era. We played big band standards from the 40's and 50's. It payed well and we only played for about an hour and a half but I thought it was kind of strange.

Wow! Nope, never did a funeral gig - did play and sing Amazing Grace at a couple memorials, though. And, at one memorial service, I was asked to play and sing about a half dozen songs that the deceased person performed and loved to do. This one, however, was a service for my bluegrass fiddle playing buddy who I played with for the better part of 40 years. I was honored that his wife asked me to do this.

Gary

Yeah Tom. I did and like you I had mixed emotions about it. An older friend and sax player used to sit in with me occasionally. When he passed his widow asked if I would play "his music" at his funeral in an Episcopal church. I told her if the officiating minister said it was okay I would do it. I set up my keyboard and a Bose L1 at the far end of the communion bench. Other than Amazing Grace played during the service (and requested by the minister) I played mid-tempo songs as people entered and left the sanctuary....songs included Satin Doll, It had To Be You, Because of You and others that the deceased always enjoyed playing. The widow said she didn't care if anyone thought it was not appropriate...it was what her husband would have wanted. Later she told me almost all in attendance commented on how appropriate they felt it was.

Eddie

Long Story; Some years ago, I played a 75th birthday party for a lady that was called Suzie. I did ‘If You Knew Suzie’ in ragtime and changed the lyrics a bit. She really enjoyed the evening and every year I was invited back to play for her birthday and ‘If You Knew Suzie’ with the revised lyrics became like an annual tradition. Her daughter told me that she put a video of my playing on when her friends came to visit. Her daughter called and said that her mom had passed (in her early 80’s by then) and would I consider playing at her funeral service. I said okay and that I could do something respectable. She said “No, I want you to do ‘If You Knew Suzie’ just the way you did for her.” So, I’m in the ‘wings’ and the preacher gave a wonderful, inspiring eulogy, everyone was uplifted, I was sure I wanted him to speak at my funeral. He finished, I walk out with my accordion and go into the song in ragtime … the daughter didn’t tell anyone, her siblings, or anyone that this was coming. I saw jaws drop, eyes widen and I’m sure there must have been audible gasps, but no matter, I was going to finish – I was getting paid after all. Then, most of the family started to sob and cry and before I finished, the whole congregation was weeping and sobbing. I thought I’d better do ‘Con Te Partiro’ to restore respectable funeral decorum. Well, I started to well up with tears and just about finished the song. I thought, maybe someone will think I was disrespectful, and I nearly ran out to pack the accordion and get out of there. As I scurried for the exit, someone grabbed my arm. I thought, ‘here it comes, a punch in the nose’. Instead, a guy says, ‘that was beautiful; do you have a business card?’ I said ‘yes, if you promise not to call me for a funeral’. Before I got to my van a couple of family members came out and invited me to join them at the memorial luncheon. To me those parties were just gigs, and my job was to do the best I could to help people enjoy … I had no idea …

Well we've all done Weddings but I've also done two Divorce parties. One was for a woman who wanted to thank her friends for helping her through her difficult time. A week before the gig her Psychiatrist calls me and asks that I do not ask her to sing or put her in the spotlight in any way. ( Wasn't planning to LOL! ) as it would undo all his work with her. At the "party" I noticed she was a bit strange so me and my drummer kept it mellow, did the gig and hit the road.

The other was a young couple who used to party hardy with a big group of friends. They decided that they didn't like being married but wanted to go back to the way it was when they were just dating. They didn't want to break up their friends group with people taking his or her sides in the divorce so they just had a big party to announce the fact that all is well with both of them. Never been in that situation but wouldn't it be nice if all divorces ended this way?
And party they did !

Did a bowling banquet where a riot broke out over a trophy. You had to be there.

About a year ago, my sax player and I played a funeral very similar to what Betweengigs mentioned. However, this was in a Presbyterian church. It went very well, with many positive comments made.

I think it is great. While it may seem a little weird I know that at my own funeral I would want music to be played that I would have played or listened to. That is what my friends would associate with my life.

In case you missed this one from Donny!!!

http://www.synthzone.com/forum/ubbthread...LMAO#Post384704

One of my favorites!!!

A very good friend here and I have talked about playing for the other's funeral, depending, of course on who dies first.

I have practiced the tune he wants to have played, but i hope I never have to play it!


Russ

I have repeatedly told my wife that when I croak, I want her to rent a hall, buy some adult beverages, hire some of my musician friends to put together a band and play. I hope some of my Zone friends can come. I'll have to croak in the summer or Mason, Gary, and Steady Eddie will freeze to death in Michigan.

I have actually played over 40 funerals....all jazz musicians. A group of friends is assembled as a group.

A perfect farewell to a fellow player.



R.

I played a Doggie funeral years ago....they wanted "How Much Is That Doggie In The Window"
they said it was "Mr.Bingsly's" (the dogs name Great Dane) favorite song, he always howled loudly whenever they played it!!!!!
He was in a Dog House built coffin also!!..... other songs I tried to play were "Hound Dog", "Walking the Dog", "Hey Bulldog"...............

THE DOG'S FUNERAL

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, "Father, me dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?"

Father Patrick replied, "I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature.

" Muldoon said, "I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate for the service?" Father Patrick explained, "Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?

Love it!

Gary

Don't want to put a damper on a good joke 'cause it IS funny.....but---it does sort of confirm what we all know (or should know) about religion....that it's a lot easier being a 'true believer' when there is something (money, power, etc.) to be gained from it. Just sayin'.

chas

It is a funny joke. It's good to laugh at ourselves sometimes.

And Chas, I understand your comments. For me, faith in God is different from religion as understood by many in observance of rituals. It sounds like you've had some bad experiences with people who profess to be religious.

Given this is not the forum, if there's anything I can do to help, please let know by PM.

I told my wife that when I die I would like this song played at my funeral cos it would make my friends all laugh. I'd like to leave this world with laughter.

Well thanks for the offer Graham, but I'm afraid I'm a lost cause. I think I'm just going to try to be as nice as I can to people and see if that works.

chas

I play for funerals all the time - I'm also a church organist. It's truly amazing what people ask to have played at their funeral. In Detroit there was a famous sports announcer who did the Red Wings hockey announcing on radio and later at the arena - Bud Lynch. Everyone knew his voice. I got a call from his daughter asking if I would play a track on a homemade CD. The pastor gave his OK and even gave me the cue for when to play it. The track was a simple sentence in Bud's own announcer voice, "Last minute of play in this period." Best non-religious thing I've ever played. still have the CD.

I often play a self-edited version of Vince Gill's "Go Rest High on That Mountain" just before or after a funeral, and I definitely want that played for mine.

No funeral for me, guys. Maybe a non-religious memorial service for the immediate family, or if I didn't piss all the money away fast enough, a monster wake. I've made arrangements to have my carcass donated to the University of Maryland School Of Medicine. They keep me for up to a year, some med students get to throw up while the instructor shows them my body parts, maybe some young doctor will learn how to properly re-sect a bowel, then they'll turn my into a box of ashes and send me home. The family can, at that point, do what they wish with what's left of the old man.

Gary

Gosh Gary, that cleared my depression right up.



chas

I'm going to be cremated and have them put my ashes in an ash tray on the coffee table. Then all the people who smoke can add their ashes to it. That way people can say "look at Tom, He's still gaining weight."

RIM SHOT!!!!

I'll tell you about a strange gig I have coming up! I'm scheduled to play for my first ex-wife's 70th birthday party in December! Worse than a funeral? Not really; we are friends now and have a son and grandsons in common.
The good news is that my niece, Megan Sheehan will be singing with me. What a talent she is! Check her out if you want to hear some great music. www.megansheehan.com

Don ... not so weird - I played my first ex's Daughter's graduation, her SON's wedding and her MOM's 80th birthday party! Not to mention singing at 2 son's funerals. Family is forever - even if marriage isn't.