Have any of you ever played a funeral gig with your arranger? Last Friday myself and a clarinet player played a funeral gig. The deceased's daughter wanted music played that was from her deceased fathers era. We played big band standards from the 40's and 50's. It payed well and we only played for about an hour and a half but I thought it was kind of strange.

Wow! Nope, never did a funeral gig - did play and sing Amazing Grace at a couple memorials, though. And, at one memorial service, I was asked to play and sing about a half dozen songs that the deceased person performed and loved to do. This one, however, was a service for my bluegrass fiddle playing buddy who I played with for the better part of 40 years. I was honored that his wife asked me to do this.

Gary

Yeah Tom. I did and like you I had mixed emotions about it. An older friend and sax player used to sit in with me occasionally. When he passed his widow asked if I would play "his music" at his funeral in an Episcopal church. I told her if the officiating minister said it was okay I would do it. I set up my keyboard and a Bose L1 at the far end of the communion bench. Other than Amazing Grace played during the service (and requested by the minister) I played mid-tempo songs as people entered and left the sanctuary....songs included Satin Doll, It had To Be You, Because of You and others that the deceased always enjoyed playing. The widow said she didn't care if anyone thought it was not appropriate...it was what her husband would have wanted. Later she told me almost all in attendance commented on how appropriate they felt it was.

Eddie

Long Story; Some years ago, I played a 75th birthday party for a lady that was called Suzie. I did ‘If You Knew Suzie’ in ragtime and changed the lyrics a bit. She really enjoyed the evening and every year I was invited back to play for her birthday and ‘If You Knew Suzie’ with the revised lyrics became like an annual tradition. Her daughter told me that she put a video of my playing on when her friends came to visit. Her daughter called and said that her mom had passed (in her early 80’s by then) and would I consider playing at her funeral service. I said okay and that I could do something respectable. She said “No, I want you to do ‘If You Knew Suzie’ just the way you did for her.” So, I’m in the ‘wings’ and the preacher gave a wonderful, inspiring eulogy, everyone was uplifted, I was sure I wanted him to speak at my funeral. He finished, I walk out with my accordion and go into the song in ragtime … the daughter didn’t tell anyone, her siblings, or anyone that this was coming. I saw jaws drop, eyes widen and I’m sure there must have been audible gasps, but no matter, I was going to finish – I was getting paid after all. Then, most of the family started to sob and cry and before I finished, the whole congregation was weeping and sobbing. I thought I’d better do ‘Con Te Partiro’ to restore respectable funeral decorum. Well, I started to well up with tears and just about finished the song. I thought, maybe someone will think I was disrespectful, and I nearly ran out to pack the accordion and get out of there. As I scurried for the exit, someone grabbed my arm. I thought, ‘here it comes, a punch in the nose’. Instead, a guy says, ‘that was beautiful; do you have a business card?’ I said ‘yes, if you promise not to call me for a funeral’. Before I got to my van a couple of family members came out and invited me to join them at the memorial luncheon. To me those parties were just gigs, and my job was to do the best I could to help people enjoy … I had no idea …

Well we've all done Weddings but I've also done two Divorce parties. One was for a woman who wanted to thank her friends for helping her through her difficult time. A week before the gig her Psychiatrist calls me and asks that I do not ask her to sing or put her in the spotlight in any way. ( Wasn't planning to LOL! ) as it would undo all his work with her. At the "party" I noticed she was a bit strange so me and my drummer kept it mellow, did the gig and hit the road.

The other was a young couple who used to party hardy with a big group of friends. They decided that they didn't like being married but wanted to go back to the way it was when they were just dating. They didn't want to break up their friends group with people taking his or her sides in the divorce so they just had a big party to announce the fact that all is well with both of them. Never been in that situation but wouldn't it be nice if all divorces ended this way?
And party they did !

Did a bowling banquet where a riot broke out over a trophy. You had to be there.

About a year ago, my sax player and I played a funeral very similar to what Betweengigs mentioned. However, this was in a Presbyterian church. It went very well, with many positive comments made.

I think it is great. While it may seem a little weird I know that at my own funeral I would want music to be played that I would have played or listened to. That is what my friends would associate with my life.

In case you missed this one from Donny!!!

http://www.synthzone.com/forum/ubbthread...LMAO#Post384704

One of my favorites!!!

A very good friend here and I have talked about playing for the other's funeral, depending, of course on who dies first.

I have practiced the tune he wants to have played, but i hope I never have to play it!


Russ