I’ve had this “assisted living” account for 17 years now. I play the piano in the front lobby in the morning and the accordion in the Alzheimer unit in the afternoon.

When I first started, a music performance was sacred. No one dared interrupt both out of respect for the musician and out of respect for the listeners.

What changed? The indifference of the staff and office personnel. Nowadays they think nothing of talking loud (so they can hear each other over the piano) while I‘m playing. I can’t concentrate on what I’m doing and the audience can’t focus on the music.

The Alzheimer unit is not as bad, but since I’m only playing my accordion acoustically there, the slightest disturbance becomes upsetting.

A few week ago I was doing the “accordion” event, and the nursing staff in the room took a break from working their smart phones and starting a social conversation back and forth across the room.

I politely asked them NOT to talk while I’m playing to the residents and they did so. But I knew I was walking on thin ice with that request.

Later I was talking to the AD, who I know on a personal level for many years now, and relayed my experience to her. She advised me, under her breath, “it’s different now.....just play the job, send an invoice, wait for your paycheck, and don‘t think about it anymore” Another way of saying.....I want you to continue playing here, but if management hears about what you said to the staff, they will do what is ”politically correct” and replace you with someone else.

That’s hard for me to do. That’s hard for any man to do. Retreat to the corner, put duct tape over your mouth with a sign that says “Do Not Open Till Christmas.”

Now, my friend, on the other hand, has a voice like Johnny Cash. He told me he just stops playing and tells everyone to shut up with that big booming voice of his.

I’m wondering is it geographical or has everyone gone rude, self-centered, and narcistic to the point all they see is their latest tattoos? Who cares if you’re ruining the performance for the residents?

What do you guys think? I’m really having a hard time with all these changes over the years. There’s just no fun in playing anymore!

Would you tell staff to “shup up” or just “ride it out?” It’s a tough call because I know a lot of you think about the residents first and the paycheck second!

Mark

Mark,
I have lost two long time gigs over the same issue this year. In my case I stopped playing and asked the offenders to be a little quieter. In one scenario I was dubbed to be rude and disrespectful although I was very polite in my request. What bothered me was those who came to hear the music were not allowed to do that and they would look around at the offenders and you could tell they were not happy about the situation. In both cases the staff was useless and it seemed scared to do the right thing. In hindsight it has not mattered to my gig schedule and I have moved on. Now what I do is simply turn up the amp and keep on going. If I get complaints I tell the AD the noise level required me to play louder. Like the lady said, play the gig, take your money, and don't worry about it.

Deane

"Play the gig, take your money, and don't worry about it". Nuff said!

Mark
As then AD said , things are different. The rules of Decorum are basically out the window. The way people behave at events or worse how their children behave is very sad. I haven't been to a movie in years because of audience behavior. Ever get dressed up to have dinner in a fine restaurant? Look around the room and you will ask yourself " How did they let theses people in" and " where did these people think they were going, to dig in the garden.?
Did a family party last night. During dinner the Kids were out of control running and screaming in front of me and the parents sat at the other end of the room drinking and eating totally oblivious. I was doing some summer songs on the Arranger at moderate dinner volume and one mother comes up to me and says " Can you play some Megan Traynor for the kids ? " Yea , Like they were going to pay attention to me LOL Switched to DJ mode and cranked the volume . Best thing was later on some people at the bar in the next room complimented me on my playing and singing
Do the gig, get paid and ignore it if possible. Your not going to change things

Whew! And I thought it was just me.
Eddie

No its not just you its all over. Long ago I would say jokingly my dream was to play in a place with no TV's. Now I'm happy if they will just turn the sound off LOL !

We're just not takin that seriously anymore and I've learned to accept it. People mostly are great but a lot just don't realize what they're doing.

BTW after the party that I wrote about the guy who booked me came up and told me how great I was and to book it again next year. Would of been my 4th annual party for them. Sorry I had to tell him I'll be long gone from NJ. He looked like he was going to cry. You never know, just keep on keepin on.

To me, large screen TV’s everywhere and live music don’t mix well----especially during football season. At least in my case, they do mute the sound. On several occasions, I’ve found the remote and done it myself.

I've played a lot at the same venue for close to 30 years. There was a dress code. Gentlemen had to wear jacket and tie. If you didn't have one there were loaners. Now you can wear cutoff jeans and a tee shirt if you want...as long as you have a couple hundred to spend.
Most people still dress nicely, but not like before. The entertainers and wait staff always wore tuxedos. That has relaxed too. I've seen entertainers come in looking really scruffy, then wonder why they don't get asked back.
I make it a point to dress maybe a little nicer than most of the customers, so I always wear a sport coat at least.
I must say that children seem to be always well-behaved, although many of them bring their babysitters, a phone or tablet of some kind.
I don't expect people in this atmosphere to sit and watch everything I do. The ones that want to do that usually sit pretty close to me when possible. Others want to converse at their tables, which is fine. Very seldom does anyone get so loud that it is disrupting. On the rare occasions that does happen, the staff and owner are really good at handling it without causing problems. They will go over and start a conversation, ask how they are doing, maybe bring them something free to eat or drink and diffuse the situation. VERY rarely it will reach a point when they are asked to settle down or leave. Point is they are not allowed to disrupt the enjoyment of others.
I'm sure this is not the norm these days though. I've never had a problem at nursing homes or retirement centers such as described by Mark, but I haven't worked them in several years. Now most of them are owned by some huge corporations somewhere and maybe the atmosphere has changed.

Don

Last place I played with an enforced dress code was in North Jersey.
Sat. night Jackets for men. No jeans ever.
Now the restaurants are all scrambling for every dollar so anything goes. Like they say "as long as your wearing some green"
The lack of hiring entertainment is part of it.
I also have recently seen some preformers who just look terrible. Even playing an outside venue you can look decent.
You have to train yourself to ignore most of the noise and whatever and do your best job. I'm sure most of the players here run into the same situations and keep going.

Dont always blame the audience,...On any gig including a NH you as the entertainer need to really be in charge of YOUR stage and keep YOUR audience in an attentive state,.... it works both ways like a battery charging off each other, ...
if they are bored with YOUR performance that's your fault, they will drift to something else.
Give em the WOW factor!! Don't be just like the other guy up there!!! If you do it right you will a big difference.