An older guy in Louisiana owned a large farm for several years.

He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, to look it over, as he hadn't been there for a while.

Before he went, he grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he got closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."

Holding the bucket up, he said... "I'm here to feed the alligator!"

A mouse goes into a music shop and says to the owner
"I`d like to buy a mouse organ",the owner replies "You`re the second mouse in here today to buy a mouse organ"yes said the mouse "That was our Monica".

Son says to his dad....
Dad, I'm thinking about a job in organised crime!

Dad replies....
Government or Private sector?!

A Roman legionnaire walks into a bar, sticks up two fingers and says, “Five beers, please.”

What did the drummer call his two daughters?


Anna one, Anna two...............