My wife's grandfather was buried naked.... so her uncle could wear a suit to the funeral

Henny Youngman lives.



chas

So these two ladies walk into a mortician's office.
The first woman says to the mortician, "I've got my husband here in his very best blue suit, but what I'd really appreciate is if you could have him in a black suit for the funeral. Here's a blank check, use whatever you need, I just want him in a black suit."

The mortician agrees and thanks the woman and the first woman leaves. Now the second woman comes in and says, "I know I've brought my husband wearing a black suit, but I've always really loved him in blue. Is there any way you can have him in a blue suit for his funeral?"

The mortician assures her that it's not a problem and the second woman thanks her and leaves. A few days later the mortician shows up at the first man's funeral and his widow walks up and says, "Thank you so much for doing this. My husband looks wonderful in the black suit you found him."

The mortician replies, "Of course, I was happy to do it. And here's your check back."

"No, I really appreciate it and I want to pay you, just take whatever you need."

"Oh no really, it didn't cost me anything. You see, right after you came in a woman showed up with her husband in a black suit and she wanted him wearing blue. So in the end all I had to do was switch the heads."

... so, there's these two dyslexic, agnostic, philosophers who sit around all day contemplating whether or not there is a dog.

It takes a second---

Or TWO !!!

Woman comes into taxidermist's office with her twin monkeys. Taxidermist says, "So sorry for your lost, so I guess you want them mounted?". Woman tearfully replies, " No, just shaking hands is okay".

chas

so true...