Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Arlene: What in the hell is that?
Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Arlene: Where did you get it?
Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy.
The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and
announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what size, texture, brand of condom she prefers.
'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'
The pharmacist fainted.
*Lmao! I wish I knew who wrote this!

Cool, thanks!

Here's my camel story: in 1960, my dad was stationed in Adana, Turkey. John Sherman Cooper(senator from Kentucky and a family friend) was going to visit the base. When the plane landed, my mom, dad, brothers and I went to the stairway used to deplane.
Cooper and his wife, a rather dour person, walked towards us and an honor guard, which had a local guy holding the reins of a camel. The camel looked up and spit about a quart of slime right on the elder lady's face and hair.

I lost it. The next morning, the local base paper had a 1/2 page photo of me sitting on the ground laughing my ass off!

It was FUNNY, DAMMIT!

Russ