i just thought i would post a new thread about good friends,we all have lots of aquaintences but how many of you have really good friends?what makes a good friend?they say to have many friends you need to be a good friend 1st,all my life both my wife and i have bought our friends,you know if they need money you lend it and then its a job to get it back or they keep out of your way, and so they are not friends, you help someone out using your labour maybe help with their car or house or garden or whatever,but when you need help there are always excusses,,,WHY ARE PEOPLE LIKE THIS we don,t have any REAL friends,what have we been doing wrong?lets see if we can get a lot of feedback on this,cause i am really curious as to how others see this,mike

Well Mike...I don't know if this is gonna sound corny, but a lot of my friends....are right here on the Zone....and I've never even met them, but I think of them as friends because we've shared concerns, helped one another through some rough times, and have agreed to disagree at times.
For me too...my best friend, is my lady Cathy. I've got a lot of musical aquaintances that I think of as good friends 'cos they know where I'm coming from.
Together, Cathy & I have many friends although there are times that I could do without some of their "poor me" feelings, or complaints, only because I know if they got their sh*t together, they wouldn't be suffering from "poor me" syndrome.

As always....your friend...shboom

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...shboom

i agree,we have a lot of friends here,some of them i have met,i,m talking about (LOCAL)close friends ,cause it seems in life that if you help someone,its about GIVE and TAKE but there seems to be those that give and others that take,mike

I think people get wrapped up or overwhelmed in their day to day anxieties and they never get around to looking outward....

By the way ol pal ol friend, I'm running a little lite on cash, can ya help me?





[This message has been edited by MrEd (edited 04-14-2005).]

I have many friends, but also several GOOD friends. There are three that I could call on for just about anything. The thing about friends like that is that you don't HAVE to call on them, they are just there. Incidentally, these three hardly know each other, if at all!
One of my oldest friends, who I hadn't seen in years, drove up from New Orleans when he heard about my wife's illness. He offered to pay the bills! (Fortunately we have good insurance and I think we can handle the rest.)
My friend HankB is another who is always there no matter what. No questions asked.
In addition to those, some of my best friends ARE people I've met here at SZ. I'm sure Gary Diamond would jump in his old van with the new GPS and drive down here if the situation warranted. DNJ and I have become very close, considering we've never met!
Uncle Dave has dropped me now that he is in love again.
Then there's Boo, and TomC, both of whom have done us the honor of visiting here. To name all those on SZ with whom I've built good and meaningful relationships wouldn't be fair, because I would surely leave somebody out, but they would include Scott, Eddie, SemiLive (Bill), Fran, Manual, Tony W., Denny. . .
I'm glad you started this topic, because it makes us stop and think about how lucky we are!
DonM

The most important thing...is being a good friend...the rest will take care of itself.

In my opinion, a good friend will never ask
if I do this for you, what will you do for me
it's about being there for each other with out asking what about me....I do thing for folks for the love of helping....some of us
just have that makeup that we have to help
others....think of a good friend as someone
close enough to you to be a part of your family whether it an extended family or real.
A perfect example would be this forum, we are all family here even the folks that don't want to admit it...I would do what ever I could to help another member of this forum as if they were family because we are.
Friends never put a price on friendship....
Friends never put demands on friendship....
Friends never ignore a friends plea for help.
Remember the song by Dion Warwick?????
In the good times, in the bad times, That's
what FRIENDS ARE FOR. Friends stick together.
Your Friend, Tony Rome

[This message has been edited by Tony Rome (edited 04-14-2005).]

i agree with a lot of what you say,after all you help people who you consider to be friends,you are the friend,you are making people feel that you are a nice person cause you are helping them,thats how friendships are made,but true friendship is a two way thing,otherwise it becomes an aquaintance,(many years ago i was asked if i would do a charity show and at the end i was given a poem which said ,,,,,when a person gives money he gives a part of his wealth ,when a person gives his time he gives a part of himself)i don,t know who wrote it but it was a nice gesture,now that shows me that i was appreciated,cause some one had done something FOR ME, mike

I agree with Don. The true test of friendship is not having to ask. If necessary, I would have no qualms about jumping in the van and heading south to help Don, heading north to help Donny, Dave or Fran, or in any direction to help someone in need.

Obviously, my primary responsibility is to my immediate family. However, there has been a growing number of individuals on this and other forums that I also consider family. While they're not blood relatives, by and large they are wonderful people that I try to keep in touch with regularly. That's what friends do. They just call or write to see how you're doing. They make that extra effort to communicate.

You cannot buy friendship. True friends can't be bought. It's something you have to earn, and it's a two-way street. Unfortunately, in today's ME NOW world, true friendships are few and far between.

Cheers,

Gary

gary,what you say mirrors my thoughts,i have found that since i have been a member of this site(1991) i have made lots of friends,(look at the people who have responded, all of my friends)i even said many times in the past that we are like a (distant)family,but this is in the forum,when i was talking about LOCAL friends Mr Ed was close with(his quote, I think people get wrapped up or overwhelmed in their day to day anxieties and they never get around to looking outward....)i would like to hear from our members ,how many true friends they have,mike

Boy, this one hits close to home!

I used to get my feelings hurt, when someone in need requested help, I helped, and was supsequently ignored, never paid back or generally unappreciated.

Then I realized, I help people not always because they are friends, but because they are people who really need help, and I have no expectation of reciprication. I now get my satisfaction out of doing what I believe is the right thing. It makes me feel good.

I realized that I have helped numerous people multiple times, with no acknowledgement...only additional requests.
That's my choice. Real friends don't continuously impose their problems on others. I'm leaving in 10 minutes to move my 427 pound "friend" from therapy to his home using a ramp I bought for him.I took him at 11:00, dressed him and put him in a pool. Then, I returned, got him out of the pool, dressed him at put him in the car. He did some errands, called me and now I have to go to get him out of the car and into his home. I've known him for 40 years and he has never helped me or anyone else as far as I know. What started as a request to take him to the doctor after being in bed for 6 weeks is now a 3 hour trip three times a week.I've been playing his jobs at a local restaurant and letting him keep the money, and now take care of all his business affairs (taxes, car liscense, home repair, etc.)
He has a church, neighbors and three children who are never available. I'll continue because he needs me.

It may be my fault for gettig so involved, but, at this point, I don't think I have any option but to continue.

Russ

russ,your story really touched me,you a kind helpful generous man,i didn,t start this thread for selfish reasons,but there are certainly more generous people than me,i,m just trying to see what makes people tick,keep em coming,mike

RUss...God Bless you....you do this for your friend because he needs you and you feel needed...this is the true feeling of accomplishment when you can help someone and step back and feel good inside...yes, I do get something back, a good feeling...my friends can always count on me to be there for them like family...I haven't been on this forum long but I feel as though I am
blessed with an extention of my family and close personal friends through a common sharing of music in this forum...thank you to all and hope to have the pleasure one day to meet most of you in person......
Tony Rome

I had a good friend once but I married her and................
Bebop

Bebop..it's a REAL shame we don't live closer to each other...musical tastes...
experience...attitude...it would be GREAT.

Tony, you have a GREAT outlook on life...I REALLY respect that!

thanks for everything,

Russ

Doing every time the best I can is the hardest way I'm knowing to go but for me it is the only one. You will get so much things back from all those people in need of help but you should not expect anything out of it or from them because you'll never get what you want...

Who would come to me if I could need your help? *LOL*
It's a long and expensive way from USA to Germany, you know?

I would never ask for help as long as there's any chance for me to help myself. As long as I can help myself there will be a chance that I could help any other helpless once too.

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Greetings from Frankfurt (Germany),
Sheriff ;-)

HI RUSS,
I totally agree. If I could get Jann to go back to KY, I would be living there or Nashville in a hot minute. I stayed at Franklin when doing some recording at Nashville with Ray Lyall at his house and loved it. 1/2 acre manicured and landscaped lot, with ponds, patios, green everywhere, great house, big shop, garage, great neighbors, lotsa neato trees, all fenced, and the value is less the putting in a new garage at my house in San Jose.
sign me ready to move to KY or TN.
Bebop

HI SHERIF
Just let me know if you need help. As soon as you send me a ticket I will come and help you Have keyboard, will travel and help I haven't been to Frankfort since 1961 and would like to go there again. send two tickets and I will bring wife and two keyboards
Best to you and yours
Bebop

Hey that's really nice and friendly!!!
Thank you very much for your offer!

Actually I have no problems and no need of help. I'm really glad about this fact because so it's possible for me to help my friends here in Germany or my new friends in the SynthZone if they'll need (and feed ) me...

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Greetings from Frankfurt (Germany),
Sheriff ;-)

My thoughs are If you can go through life and be fortunate enough to aquire One true friend you should count yourself very lucky, One is enough if its for real, and has stood the test of time. I've been extremly fortunate I have 4, one is my wife and life long partner.

I went through the usual give give give and give some more, in my younger years, only to find each disappeared when I could no longer afford to give or had not the time to fix their personal posessions, that usually showed up at my house on my days off. I put a end to this and they just seemed to disappear. But I found a middle ground for this, the ones that were just using me, almost always worked the conversation to bring up a request of a favor, and the thanks at the end was none existant, or half hearted. The true friends always treated these things like we were doing them together as our own, like a father and son or two brothers.

I still love to help others, but I watch, and if I see someone who needs help I'll offer and see it to the end. But anyone who solicits help I'm very wary of them.

I also was a dead set don't asks anyone for help if you can find a way (anyway)to help yourself. (and I always found a way) This is not always a good policy. I finally learned that you also must allow the person you helped to be able to return the favor, if you don't you'll hurt that person's feelings.

On this and other forums I see many older mature, and mellowed a bit guys, who I think are terrific people and probably has many best friends and I'm thankful to be a small part of this select group of people.....Pose

Pose, I know exactly what you mean. Some people goes through their life with open hands always awaiting that someone is willing to help them. They are so familiar with this manner that they don't see any other way. They also could need your help but in another form. To refuse help is sometimes the only way to be a real helping hand!
But unfortunality in the most cases you will figure it out after you've been hurt by your so called 'friend'...

To be careful is not the worst thing because you'll need your life energy for your own and for your real friends. And, maybe the man for whom you have stopped giving help had learnt to help himself in the meantime and is now on his way to get also a real friend of yours. Okay, mostly they're not but don't give up the believing because sometimes they really are...

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Greetings from Frankfurt (Germany),
Sheriff ;-)

This has been on my mind lately...

In the past few months that I have been hanging around a certain bar (and need to quit), I have had several guys say to me "Your daddy was a good man" when the conversation would bring him up for whatever reason. I've heard that countless times over my life. I'm now trying to write that into a song. The theme being that if people say that about me (what they said about my dad) after I'm gone, then I will leave earth having succeeded.

What's interesting is that some of these people, I don't even know how they interacted with my dad. We lived in the same town but I was not aware of them knowing him very well.

I make friends easily. No problem. Wherever I am. That's good. My brother is the opposite. Actually, to be honest, I don't think he has any good friends. Sad.

Your life takes all kinds of twists and turns. Good friends come and go. Your closest friends, those are very few.

It's also sad that a close friendship can sour just a bit because one of you grows in some way and the other doesn't. The friendship will always be there but you aren't as close anymore because of the different ways of looking at things.

I wrote a song called "Graduation Day." Graduation Day is nearing. Appropos also. It's about how you can go through school and know classmates your entire life until Graduation Day and then Poof! They're gone. You don't realize it at the time. You're too young and naive to realize that "once you move that tassle, that whole part of life is gone." And some of them, you will never see again. Ever. That's kind of sad.