As an outsider from abroad, I would move to Florida and keep the house in New York.
(Allthough I am dutch I do know both area's very well)
I would just rent out the house in New York to cover the costs, so you allways have a backup in case you want to return.

Reasons for moving:
Jacksonville - not the most dangerous place in FLA for hurricanes, you should be safe if a bit inland.
Temperature/Climate and due to that much more pleasant people including yourselve..
Cheap T-Shirts
Disney World
Seaworld
You don't need to heat your swimming pool
etc....

freddynl, thanks for the insight. Unfortunately, my home in New York is pushing the $1mil price range and I have significant chunk of change tied up in it. I like your thinking though....

I think Hawaii leads the nation in T-shirt sales....

Al... Man, that's a TOUGH choice ...
We made the move from NY to RI 20 years ago... My company relocated the home office (which I worked in) from mid-town Manhattan to Johnston, RI which is about 6 miles due west of Providence ...
Our son was just graduating high school and going to college...Our daughter was going into her sophomore year of high school, and was attending a Catholic girl's high in Staten Island on a FULL scholarship...
Our son has never 'lived' in RI, coming home only on college vacation/holidays ... He went to dental school in NJ and now has a practice in Mamaroneck, NY ... Fortunately, he and his family LOVE to vacation in RI and visit often ...

Since the Catholic girl's high schools in RI were in 'out of the way' places, we located in East Greenwich which has one of the top public school systems in the state ... The transition was toughest on our daughter ... My wife's sister's husband worked for the same company at the time, so they moved also, so my wife had her sister ... I had my brother-in-law (we get along very well), plus the rest of the guys I worked with in NY who also made the move ... Our daughter had her younger cousins, but NO ONE else ...
Most of the high school kids had gone to the grade school and middle school together, so the 'cliques' were made ... ALSO, being from NYC, she was looked upon as a "tough city kid" which she is anything BUT ... It took her quite a while to make new friends, and initially some were other 'loners', and some with good reason ... We had to be careful about who she was 'hanging' with ... (on her first date in RI the kid picked her up in his pick-up truck - I asked him for his license !!! - He was actually a good kid - he made the National MacDonald's All Star High School Jazz Band, playing guitar) ... Eventually she joined a hockey cheerleading team and started to make more friends ... but she went through a lot ... some kids even asked her how many murders she had seen in NY !!! ...
All that said, the move has been wonderful for us ... Our daughter is married and lives about 15 miles from us, which up here translates to about 20 min. ...

Leaving Staten Island turned out to be a VERY good thing ... SI has become VERY over populated, and we now have a problem dealing with the traffic and some of the 'attitudes' when we go back to visit ...
Also, I never realized the sublte stress put on a person just by living/working in NY ... Don't get me wrong ... I will always consider it the greatest city in the world, but EVERYTHING is RUSH !!! ... Rush to the train/bus/boat, rush at work, rush to get lunch, rush to get home ...PHEW !!! I haven't missed that aspect ! ...

I am assuming your sophomore daughter is the eldest? ... If that's the case, as far as your kids having a better life in NY or Fla, for several years yet, YOU and your wife should be the biggest influence in their life (whether THEY acknowledge that now or not ), and will have a lot to do with whether they have a better life or not ...

Our move was made easier by the proximity to NY ... We are very family oriented, and the first year I put 25,000 miles on the car travelling back and forth to NY ... but that diminished considerably as time went on ...

You have got to try to determine what is going to be better for you and your wife in the future ... because what is better for you affects the kids as well ...
I don't know what your wife's situation is, but you are obviously going to have to start your musical career all over again (I went through that) ... the good thing is I hear there is a lot of music work down there ...

Also, as for the kids, the hard reality is that once they finish college, odds are they are going to locate in the area they think affords the best opportunity for THEM ...

Speaking for us, I have to say we are very happy we made the move ... was it tough? - for a while yes ... do we still miss some friends and family we don't see often enough - yes ... do I still miss the band - yes ...but I don't know if we would still be working together (we did for 26 yrs!) ... do I still feel like I'm only visiting in RI - often, yes ...
But it was still worth it ...

I don't know if all of this helps or not (you may have made your decision in the time it took for me to type this ) but I wish you the best, my friend, and if you want to e-mail me, it's in my Profile ...
t.

So how was the Wedding ?!?!? ...
I had played a few at the Manor with the band years ago ... a couple of them were like 8 hour gigs, between the cocktail hour and a half, dinner, and Viennese hour ... great meals ...
t.

t.

Thanks for sharing that story. Your spot on with your assessment. My daughter is actually the youngest of 3. My oldest is 21, he's pretty resilient and is looking forward to a new start in FLA. My middle child is 17 and he's a senior in High School. So he is ready to select a college and make new friends. My daughter doesn't make friends easily, even though she is very popular in school (go figure!). She's very picky when it comes to friends. And, she doesn't like NEW situations so we have to be careful with her.

My wifes family of mother, and two brothers actually live in FLA and she is excited about the prospects of being closer to her family. I get along fine with them and her mom and I are very close.

I just don't see a future for my children here in New York. It is just too expensive for them, the lifestyle is very rough as you mentioned. Other than work and friends, there is really nothing grounding us to New York.

Thanks so much for your input. I value it a great deal.

Al

Al, everything you've said leads to the decision to move ... just be mindful (and I am SURE both you and your wife are) of the fact that your daughter is going to need special attention, and at times it is NOT going to be easy ...

I appreciate your seeking me out and your kind words ... it is a nice feeling to know we might have helped someone ...
Keep us updated as plans progress ...

Man, what is NY going to turn into if guys like us keep leaving ?!?!? ...

t.

Al, I can only add one thing to the great feedback you've already received. Get out of Dodge and move to Florida!!! Tonymads had what I thought was valuable feedback he made the move to what has been my home state for the entire 54 years I've been roaming around. My wife and I are spending the weekend in Metro NY. We're staying in Ridgefield Park and hopping the ferry from Port Imprerial to Manhattan. I love NYC, but to work and commute to it has to take years off your life. We we're in traffic on the Cross Bronx Friday for 45 minutes and I thought Deb and myself we're going to jump off the GW when we got there. For you to commute 2 hours each way says," You're a better man than I am!!! "

I wish you the best in whatever you decide.

I need all four seasons. Florida would get real old, real fast for me. Maybe Jacksonville has a little more change of season. It's plenty cold there in the early hours of January and February..... then, by lunch time, you can wear your shorts again !

Steve ... I avoid the GWB and the Cross Bronx at almost ANY expense ... the tunnels from NJ are much better ... or even take public transportation ...
t.

Dave ... I'm in agreement about the seasons ... There is nothing like fall in RI !!! (right Steve???) ...
But if the only choices are NY or FL, since there are connections for Al's family there, I think it is a good choice ...
Or, Al, have your company start an office here in Li'l Rhody, and we can get something going musically ...
t.