Yes, you all hit it on the nail. Never do anyrthing private off eBay. If something goes unsold due to cancellation or do to not hitting the reserve, wait until the seller puts it back up for sale.
There were quite a few times in which I did do stuff privately off of eBay. Luckily, I didn't get burned. However, stories like yours convinced me to not go that route again.
I disagree with the get as much as you can sentiment. Since musicians in general are poor so to speak, I'd feel a lot better knowing that I can get more or around the same price putting it on the net. I used to deal with used stores and classified mags here in NYC, only to find better deals online, and these sources to sell way above the average price.
On top of this, there's the security issue. Most of the time, you have to go to their house or vice versa. This aint the 50s and 60s. There are some nuts out there. I often felt seriously uncomfortable letting someone into my home of which I didn't know. Additionally, now someone else has your address.
Screw that folks, I play by the rules. I always take pictures of my gear so someone can see it before they buy it (not the old, put up a catalog or stock pic), and will not buy something without seeing an item (via photo) and asking lots of questions.
Furthermore, I'm not the idiot who'd buy anything just because; while not knowing anything about the unit in question, just because they have to have a synth (or whatever).
I've been doing eBay for around two years now. I've only complained about an idiot once, and they were a REGISTERED USER and USED MUSIC STORE who was doing transactions online.
My 50 cents.
Later,
The Infamous Epu.