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#84292 - 02/25/05 10:52 AM
Re: Pulling cig smoke out of a bar
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Senior Member
Registered: 08/28/04
Posts: 2206
Loc: Louisiana, USA
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Who is that son of a birch that invented cigars? I want to kill that jerk. There was a guy in the bar last night puffing away on one, I wanted to snatch that sucker out of his mouth and just stomp it on the ground. Wouldn't I love to be 6'8" and 280 lbs.
Hey, I just remembered a song I wrote. A silly, folky story song...
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“KEN THE CONMAN CAVEMAN” ©2004 Bill Pittman All rights reserved
Ken [D] the conman [C] caveman started [D] it Ken invented booze and ciga-[A]-rettes First [D] thing was blueberry beer Then [C] found tobacco leaves grew here Told [D] Gonzo, See these [A] leaves, I got an [D] idear
Ken [D] said when they're [C] dry, we'll roll 'em [D] tight We'll light the end and suck with all our [A] might Gonzo [D] said Aw, come on, Ken Who [C] would want to suck smoke in You're [D] just drunk, your [A] logic sure is [D] thin
But [D] Ken the conman [C] caveman was a [D] pro Drank blueberry beer, made Gonzo [A] roll Movin' [D] 'round the campfire there Dodging [C] campfire smoke for air Gonzo [D] said, See, [A] Ken, smoke's bad, I [D] swear
Soon, [A] Gonzo 'as puffin' like a [D] train Caveman [A] peer pressure was to [D] blame Then [G] Ken said Let's hunt a deer We'll [D] take cigarettes and beer They [D] wheezed thru the [A] forest, all could [D] hear
A cigarette was dangling from his lip Gonzo said, Hey, Ken, we sure look hip Ken said Yeah, at caveman school I was voted Mr. Cool And when you got it, use it, that's a rule
Somehow, Ken got tangled up in vines Stompin' 'round, discovered he'd made wine Wine and cigarettes and beer Just like rednecks hunt a deer Where that came from, now, that much is clear
Yeah, Ken the conman caveman did us in Sold the rights to homo sapiens Adam fell for anything When it came to pleasing Eve And Eve said Ken was sexy, blowing rings
Ken and Gonzo fin'lly lost their mind Neanderthal, a victim of the vine Ken's wife, Barb cut off the kiss And Gonzo's wife stayed really pissed Booze and cigarettes did all of this
They all died without a single kid Thank God, Eve and Adam fin'lly did It could happen again, homo sapiens Ken the conman caveman started it
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~ ~ ~ Bill
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