We have a family situation that has happened too often already for us...Maybe someone has hands on experience and advice..A year ago my wife's brother passed away at the age of 46, he left a wife and twin 8 year old girls...My wife has had a problem dealing with different situations of his death and wanting to be in the lives of her nieces[some reluctance with the twin's mother]..

Now we have another tragedy...The wife of my brother's son[nephew] , passed away yesterday, leaving a 3 year old girl and a 5 year old boy...I don't have a clue how all this will work in the absence of their 34 year old mother..

What can be said to them at such an early age? How do you handle questions?
How do you handle the immediate emotions in the next few days?

I usually have the answers, but this time I might be stumped...giving all the ages..

We need the advice not only to help the babes but the adults also...Any advice will be appreciated..

Wow...very sorry for your loss Fran.
I lost my Dad at the age of 17, my brother was 46 yrs old when he died nt long ago...I miss them , but sometimes I close my eyes and can see their image and think of them and feel some healing.
When people pass there's only one thing I can say ..and that there is a heaven and there are angels in heaven that guide us throughout our lives and God must have needed these individuals to help everyone with guidance in their lives. Tell children you love them and guide them and give them as much love as possible and tell them it's ok to cry.

May Gods love show healing to you and everyone in your family and all the people that were touched by the one's who pass.

Offering my prayers

Dan O'

Fran...Man, I'm really sorry to hear of these problems your family is having...Fran,
I say this with great conviction, for the children, you have to get them PROFESSIONAL
help ASAP....the emotional damage that can overtake these poor children will be irreversable if it don't get checked fast...
there are agencies that will help in these matters, please make use of them...encourage
your family to seek them out....this is bad enough for the adults to handle...the children are more tramitized at the young ages....Fran, get them help from the pros...please, for their sakes and their future....God Bless and guide you all...
Please keep us posted....
TR

Fran, i am sorry for your loss,it seems that so many things go wrong all at once, and what makes it worse is unforseen demands put on us without notice and not always having the answers,the only advice i can give is,all the relatives of those involved to get together and talk it all through and see what solutions can be made between you all.
Fran this only an opinion as i have not been in your situation. As far as the young ones are concerned,it may be easier to say to them that when people die they go to heaven to be with ???
but she will still be thinking of you,and watching over you because she loves you very much,and wants to be proud of you, so you show her how much you care for her by being good to their father and to work hard at school,nursery.
the support that we give when it is most needed ,is what helps the most. mike

Fran,
I say - talk to them straight. Use discretion, but don't hide too many truths from them. This time is confusing enough for them. Kids are smarter than we know sometimes, and they deserve real answers to the tough questions.
Remember Kathleen's brother's funeral? There were "get well" cards in the coffin .... those kids will have a really hard time dealing with the future if they think that Daddy is "just sick".
Chin up, MR. C ...... we'reall here.

Fran, a fine person such as you will instinctively know what to do...just love them and be there for them. Let them come around...they'll insticnctively know that they have a caring support system. Let the process proceed when they're ready.

Your family is VERY lucky to have you and yours.

We're thinking about you!


Russ

Fran,

Be straight with everyone even the kids. Say only what needs to be said then shut up and listen. Your presence, lots of hugs, and a listening ear are what's needed.

Tom

Fran, I hadn't read this when I talked to you on the phone earlier. Sorry to bother you at such a stressful time.
You will find the right words when the time is right. Our prayers are with you.
DonM

Thanks to everyone for your comments...Fran

Fran .... I am so sorry for your loss ... I pray that The Lord will give you all the strength you need to get through this ...
t.

Fran.....
the truth is always best .....
when my ex-wife passed away at age 32 tragicly I had to explain it to my 12 yr old son & the best way is truthfully so they can go on with life, understand what has happened and hopefully become stronger thruout their lives when issues occur....most of all be there to support them also.

Hang in there, your friends are here.

Donny

Fran, I can't add any more than what's already been said here, but my thots are with you my friend, and the children.

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...shboom

Having nursed parents on both sides to the end. My wife and I look at it this way.
Remember the good times and one day we will hopefully meet up again.
We lost a lovely dog (jackson)who was our right arm for 15 years. This may not make sence but when we are out shopping and reqiure a parking space we just say out loud Jackson we need to park, then a space appears as if we are the only ones that can see it....very spooky but true.