Billy Graham was returning home after a speaking engagement and when his plane arrived there was a limousine there
to transport him to his home. As he prepared to get into the limo, he stopped and spoke to the driver.
"You know" he said, "I am 87 years old and I have never driven a limousine. Would you mind if I drove it for a while?"
The driver said, "No problem. Have at it."
The Reverend Billy gets into the driver's seat and they head off down the highway. A short distance away sat a rookie State Trooper operating his first speed trap. The long black limo went by him doing 70 in a 55 mph zone. The trooper pulled out and easily caught the limo and got out of his patrol car to begin the procedure.
The young trooper walked up to the driver's door and when the glass was rolled down he was surprised to see who was driving.
He immediately excused himself and went back to his car and called his supervisor. He told the supervisor, "I know we are supposed to
enforce the law but I also know that important people are given certain courtesies. I need to know what I should do because I have stopped a very important person."
The supervisor asked, "Is it the governor?" The young trooper said, "No, he's more important than that."
The supervisor said, "Oh, so it's the president." The young trooper said, "No, he's even more important than that."
The supervisor finally asked, "Well then, who is it?"
The young trooper said, "I think it's Jesus because..........

he's got Billy Graham for a chauffeur!"

DonM

Oh, Don! You'll burst my midriff...

------------------
Greetings from Frankfurt (Germany),
Sheriff ;-)

Don...you are on today......keep em coming
Tony

That's too much Don.

Well, if you insist,

A couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from sex for one whole month."
The couple agreed and after two-and-a-half weeks returned to the Church.
When the Pastor ushers them into his office, the wife is crying and the husband obviously very depressed. "You are back so soon...Is there a problem?" the pastor inquired.
We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex for the required month...." the young man replied sadly.
The pastor asked him what happened. "Well, the first week was difficult...However, we managed to abstain through sheer willpower.
The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain."
"However, the third week was miserable. We tried cold showers, prayer, reading from the Bible...anything to keep our minds off carnal
thoughts.
One afternoon, my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and had my way with her right then and there." admitted the man, shamefacedly.
"You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church," stated the pastor.
"We know." said the young man, hanging his head, "We're no longer welcome at Home Depot either."
DonM

Don:
Loved your Rev. Billy joke, will probably drop this on the congregation at a future music event.

Was wondering if you picked this up when you were in Okla, with Billy Graham? or like me changed it around from something else to fit the occasion? (for instance)

I think this originated with the Gaithers.

During a musical performance at a local church we had a trio going one Member was a pastor from another church,well known by all, He's on the heavy side and looks like he never been outside in the sun in his life. I told the audience that the Pastors wife bought him a pair of baggy short pants and suggested he wear them to mow the lawn. He told me that he would never do this again as long as he lives, I asked him why and this was his answer. The lawn mower wouldn't start so I drove to Walmart to buy a spark plug, and as I was walking down the sidewalk headed for the entrance, a woman with a little girl approached in the oposite direction and as they passed he heard the little girl ask, MOMMA IS THAT MAN RIDE'N A CHICKEN.........Pose

Actually my wife emailed that joke to me. Not sure where she got it. I didn't know Billy, but I did work for Oral Roberts back in Tulsa in the late 60's. There's a long thread about it somewhere if anyone wants to search for it.
DonM

Yes, I remember the great story!!!

By the way, you guys are really funny. It has shorten my time a little bit...thank you!!!

Jesus was playing golf and St. Peter was his caddy. Jesus asked for a 5 iron. "That's the wrong club, Jesus", said St. Peter. "You'll end up in the water hazard". "I'll use a 5 iron, because that's what Arnold Palmer would use" said Jesus. He took the shot,and sure enough, the ball ended up in the water.
"Go part the water and get the ball", said Jesus. St. Peter grumbled, parted the water and got the ball.

Same thing happened again. Third time, Jesus asked or a 5 iron again. "Ok, but if the ball goes in the water, you're going to get it", says St. Peter. "I don't care, a 5 iron is what Arnold would use". Jesus took the shot and, sure enough, the ball went in the water. St.Peter grins and motions in the direction of the water. Jesus walks on the water and is looking for the ball. One guy driving by says, "Who does that guy think he is...Jesus?" "No, man", says St. Peter. He thinks he's Arnold Palmer".

Russ (a non-golfer)

Well I had a horrible experience playing golf this weekend.
Paul, one of our regular foursome, had a heart attack and died on the third hole. Of course it was a horrible thing to happen. The rest of the day it was, hit the ball, drag Joe, hit the ball, drag Joe . . .
DonM