OK, got it this time (although the new link takes you to the lyrics, not the music)

Nice song, a little Johnny Cash-like. Yes, I do hear a little distortion, watch that tendency to boost frequencies, it can take you over the top if you are not careful. A little cutting of reciprocal frequencies might work out better....

I think I kept waiting for drums to come in about 2/3 of the way through, it might have given it a 'lift', and the VERY personal lyrics (friends of yours, no doubt?) makes it a little harder to identify with, but all in all, a good song, and very heartfelt........ Kudos

Song has good structure. You know how to set up syllable counts and rhyming patterns. Too many people just sort of go with the flow, this shows much more discipline.

A thought; to make the song a little more generally appealing to all, how about giving us a few more of Gordon's famous lines? "full moons turn cotton fields blue". What else? If it's a song about a person, help us get to know that person. You've intrigued us now; what is the Gospel according to Gordon?

What if you followed the same pattern you set up in the first verse and ended every verse with a phrase he would say. You don't have to do it this way, but it's just another opinion.

Yes, I understand your comments but I don't know. Songwriting is very hard. Well, songwriting when you're trying to write professional-grade lyrics. I have already spent 60 hours on this song. I just reviewed my notes for the fun of it... I have over 300 lines that I wrote and discarded to arrive at the lyric you see.

When I first came up with the idea, essentially, I thought I would do about what you are talking about. I would write a song with some things that this "Gordon" guy would say. I planned on them being humorous. The problem with this is that it is VERY difficult to come up with truly humorous lines. It's one of the hardest things to do.

If I were to do what you are suggesting, ending each verse with a zinger, it would take four good zingers. And that is not easy to do at all! So, I decided against that. Instead, I'd build a story around the event of "being there," not the actual "gospel according to Gordon." To somehow write a lyric that has a nice feel to it about the night and let the listener conjure up the images of a memorable evening and "the gospel according to Gordon" is never actually discussed much.

However, I did revisit the lyric to see if maybe I could do what you suggest. It would be great but I think I've had enough of this one for awhile.

I'll let it sit awhile and maybe consider it later. Thanks for your comments.



Do you think so? I agree, it's always a concern when you write a character song. Can people identify with this character? I could give you a thousand character songs, songs written about people the listener does not know. Maybe I've missed the mark but I hope not.

What I tried to do was write the lyric about the event. To create a nice feeling for the listener about experiencing something outside the rat race.

From the story... the setting is the Red River Valley and there are two people involved, the singer and Gordon. Gordon is a farmer. It's an autumn night and there is a bright full moon. The characters are near or in a cottonfield and have a campfire going. A Merle Haggard song is playing (or someone is playing it). Gordon, evidently, is a talker and evidently sometimes says something funny or maybe a tall tale.

Gordon has two dogs there and they are doing the dog thing, which, hopefully, provides more warm thoughts about the evening.

The singer is enjoying just being there and kind of letting Gordon do the talking. It's a nice night. Hopefully, listeners have experienced magical evenings such as this and will enjoy being taken back to that feeling.

That's what I tried to do. I hope others will chime in if it falls short. I've played this for several people and this one is getting thumbs up, so, it's worth getting it right. It ain't easy, is it.

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Bill
Yamaha PSR2000