Here are some revised titles of some well known 'Standards' humorously referred to by seasoned musicians who have to play these more often than they wish. How many of the original titles can YOU identify from these?

The Girl With Emphysema
Almost Like Being On Drugs
Close Your Thighs
When Your Liver is Gone
Musty
Sawdust
Vacuum In Indiana
Satan Doll
I'm Getting Sorta-mental Over You
The Days of Swine And Hoses
I'm In The Nude For Love
Honey Suck My Nose
Naughty Butt Lice
Me And My Shad Roe
St. Louis Booze

Anyone want to add to this list?

Scott

How 'bout a Sinatra and Ella favorite:

Beat, Battered, and Bewildered

And the Ice Man's song:

"I Only Have Ice For You"

None other than the famous Platter's and Three Son's song, (not really jazz, but...)

"Toilet Time"

Then there's the alternate title, "The Girl From Iwo Jima."

OK, here's stetching it a bit.

This tune was originally a polka, but was also a dixie-swing standard where I came from. (Wisconsin, where else.)

"The Band Aid Song," or "Just Be Gauze".

aka, "Just Because."

Frankie Yankovic must be rolling around in his grave right about now.

Elvis could pull off a 12/8 version of that tune in the same tempo and feel of his "The Wonder of you"...I can hear it now in my head....has to be fairly quick to pull it off.

How could you forget the sheep song?

Drum Roll Please!

"There Will Never Be Another Ewe"

Never!!!!, MY LOVE.

I think we forgot that wonderful Jobim bossa nova "Medication".