My band just PLAYS the music, Donny. As you well know, it doesn't take sounding EXACTLY like the record to entertain people and make them dance...

The kids are just happy enough to hear a song they are familiar with that its' instrumentation doesn't really matter...

As different sounding as you are prepared to be from the original to do jazz tunes or even doo-wop (that harmonizer doesn't even get CLOSE!), why worry about nailing a house groove? Just play the song, make it your own, and they still dance!