In the past my New Years resolutions have always been environmentally friendly. What that means is that I've recycled them every year. I've decided to no longer do that. This year I'm going to make resolutions that I can keep. So far (5 days)I've been doing a pretty good job. I've resolved to:

Keep my weight up

Exercise less

Drink more

Hog the remote

Be less pleasant and less tolerant

Never ask for directions

and here're the rewards for keeping up these resolutions:

1) obesity
2) high blood pressure
3) heart attack
4) stroke
5) diabetes
6) divorce
7) cirrhosis
8) alzeheimers


Scott