Like the ones on other post I've read. I want to make a list that will be of much benefit to me.

1. The drummer started in the wrong key!
2. Where did I put the instructions?
3. I need to practice that one.
4. That's funny, it worked last night!
etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.

Got my nose fixed and now my mouth won't work right.

It's not a wrong note ... I play jazzzzzz.

"Sometimes during the course of the evening, you may think you hear me make a mistake. That's done on purpose, because some people are always looking for something wrong, and my job is to try to please everyone, so I will throw in an intentional mistake now and then."

If you accidently start a song with too fast a tempo--"well that was the rock 'n roll version, here's how most people play it".

DonM

I just washed my hands and can't do a thing with them.
Eddie

Who? Me?

Peter

Excuse me............but it really was my synth that made that noise!

Okay then, now I'll try it with my gloves off.

On guitar tuning: It's close enough for jazz.

"I've had numerous requests, but I'm going
to keep playing anyway."

"If anyone would like me to play a request,
please bring up the tape or CD."

[This message has been edited by Vquestor (edited 04-07-2003).]

Whoops, that's not my fault. My wife is the decision-maker.

------------------
I don't steer the ship, I bail out the water.
DJ
http://www.chipos.com/beachbum/

I put my heart and soul in that rendition. Next time I'll try to put the right notes into it too.

Jerry

Aha!!! Here's the problem. My eyeglass prescription just expired.
Eddie

Boy, this would sound really great if it wasn't for all those wrong notes...

For guitar players...
"Whatta mean tune up?"
"It was in tune when I bought it!!"

I had a good laugh at these....keep um coming please.

Graham UK

I really do know all the notes in this song... I'm just not sure in what order I'm supposed to play them.
Eddie

Those music lessons are finally paying off. The neighbors are paying me not to play anymore.


The most frequent request I get is to play "Behind closed doors"

At my last gig, the people were lined up at the door. - At the exit door.


Jerry

[This message has been edited by Jerryghr (edited 04-08-2003).]

[This message has been edited by Jerryghr (edited 04-08-2003).]

A line from Ken Dodd (british comedian)...

"My shows are so educational - afterwards everyone says 'that taught me a lesson'"

"I attempt to satisfy all requests - EXCEPT to shoot the piano player ..."

This thread reminds me of a gig (job) I was working at one place for over a year ... We had built up a fairly good sized clientele, many of whom would come in just to hear and dance to the music after dining somewhere else... and what greater compliment is there than that? ... (To me if not to the chef of the restaurant!!! )
However, under the title of "you can't please everybody", one night there was a table with two 'older' couples and when I took a break one of the 'gentlemen' said in a voice loud enough for most of the place to hear " Boy, the music sounds great NOW!" ... I did not have to say a word, because in a second the owner was at the table giving the guy a piece of her mind ... She obviously did not believe the "the customer is always right"....
t.