Hi All,

I started going to a songwriting forum and a few of us there decided to participate in a little excercise.

We were all given a line to write a song around, the line being.... "BLUE SKIES ALWAYS MAKE ME CRY", and a week to come up with a song.

Anyway this is my effort. Hope you like it. Let me know what you think.

Hayfever Rag

Best wishes
Tony

Hi Tony
I enjoyed your clever song quite a bit and only have a suggestion or two regarding instrumentation. These are only things which your old time rag arrangement inspired me to think of.

1. With the banjo in there I can't help but want to hear a tuba bass rather than the guitar bass.

2. Also I think a groovy slide trombone tastefully placed in just a spot or two (perhaps one somewhere along with the sneeze at the end?) would be very fitting.

The song itself is wonderful from a songwriting standpoint imo

Keep up the good work. You definitely are talented.

OldNewb

Tony, enjoyed your new tune. Nice fresh feeling jaunt. The banjo sounds very natural and acoustic. Your voice is clear, but as usual, I always find it a little difficult to make out all the lyrics on 'first listen' of your songs. I'm sure it's just me though, because it's often difficult for me to make out the dialogue clearly watching British films, and I sometimes even have to turn the 'english' sub-titles on as well . Well, considering you Brits speak the original 'true' english, I guess I had better learn to 'understand' Queen's English. - Scott

Hello again and thanks for the listen!
It was just a bit of fun this one really and just to participate in the exercise. I really enjoyed doing it though!

OldNewb,
I may try to fiddle with it and implement your suggestions! I'm flattered that you think the song clever. Thankyou!!

Scott,
ROFL ... It's that old difference between Tomato and tomaarto again
Here are the lyrics so that your fellow countrymen can understand me too BTW In the UK my broad northern accent is most definately not considered the Quenns English. I am more "O'im a good gerl Oi em" as opposed to "The Rain in Spain falls Mainly on the Plain" Where is Rex Harrison when you need him?

Hayfever Rag

It's never love that causes me my own particular insanity
Nor why I long for the rain
It's never cupids bow Oh No! That leaves me nowhere left to go
To hide from all the pain
I always think it wrong that summer tends to last so long
And pray that global warming is anything but habit forming

Chorus
Blue Skies always make me cry
When skies are gray I'm ok
Blue Skies keep me weeping you know why
I got a fever from the hay

When Gershwin wrote of summertime he filled his song full of noxious rhyme
Well just like the cotton I am high
I'm full of anti-histamine my face as puffy as an old drag queen
And still he writes 'Don't you cry'
Cole Porter did it better in fact he nailed it to the letter
A veritable hymn - 'I've got you under my skin'

Chorus

Hope that helps
Best wishes
Tony

Hi Tony,
You've inspired me... My next tune will be an uplifting melody while the lyrics will be about my panic attacks... Very nice job... As a musician you leave me in the dust... Really enjoyed it while your lyrics contradicted the sunshine rag tag music...
And as always when you listen to your stuff... You know its Tony right off the bat..
Good job... You've disguised your song quite nicley in a pretty box with a bow.
Hope your getting some sleep these days...
Night time TV can suck.
DJ

Hi Tony,

Well, as I've told you before - much, much talent !! I agree with OldNewb on two accounts: 1. The song is very clever (but your cleverness and talent shows in most of your songs). 2. I could go along with the instrument choices he mentioned - though I would like to see (hear) the trombone (and maybe clarinet - to add a counter to the basically low tones of the song). might not be good to make it too complex though.

Another pleasing song.

vc


------------------
Vern

vclocke.
Oh, I definitely agree with you vclocke in regards to keeping it simple, not too complex or busy.
I think that both you and I are listening to this song though from a final production, arrangement, standpoint.

Tony.
As for a critique on the songwriting and presentation of your song in that regard, I can not think of a single flaw or way to improve on what you have done. In my mind it is perfect.

A songwriters job, imo, does not include things like instrumentation, or even delve much into arrangements necessarily. It is, imo, the songwriters task to keep it very very simple in instrumentation and arrangement per se and allow the producer/artist the opportunity to hear in his own head how he would like it to be done.
You have handled this perfectly. Imo.

I just got swept away with some of my own thoughts on what I would like to hear on a final version of the song.
And when that happens to any listener, Tony, It can and should, be taken as an indication that you have done your job very well indeed.
Kudos!

------------------
The old Newb

Tony
Very creative cut. Your recording has improved 100 fold over days of yore.

Something you might consider in the mastering faze, is to use a "desser" effect on your vocals for more clarity.
Terry

------------------
jam on,
Terry http://imjazzed.homestead.com/Index.html

Terry,

Since i'm basically just beginning to get into recording - and don't know most of the relative terms - what is a "desser" effect?

thx

vc