Now we know why only very few people here post demos..

http://www.lep.co.uk/weirdnews/First-cut-is-the-deepest.4791893.jp

and some jokes...

Q: How can you tell if the drummer's stool is level?
A: The drool comes out of BOTH sides of his mouth.

Q: What do you call a guitarist without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless.

Q: What do you call a beautiful woman on a bassist's arm?
A: A Tattoo.

Q: What do you call a drummer with a steady gig?
A: A dish washer

Q: How many lead singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one, he holds it in place and expects the world to revolve around him.

Q: How many guitar players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 10, one to actually do it while the other 9 talk about how they could have done it better.

Q: How do you get a bass player off of your front porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.

Q: What do you call a bassist in a suit?
A: The Defendant

Q: What is the difference between a viola and a coffin?
A: With a coffin, the dead man is on the inside.

Q: What is the difference between a viola and a violin?
A: Viola burns longer

Q: What's the difference between a savings bond and a bass player?
A: The savings bond will eventually mature and earn money.

Q: How do you tell when your lead singer is at the door?
A: He can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in.

Q. What's the difference between a mercedes and a soprano?
A. Not all musicians have been in a mercedes.

Q. What's the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead trombone player in the road?
A. The snake was on his way to a gig. (Var. There are skid marks in front of the snake.)

Q. What happened to the drummer after he had a lobotomy?
A. They took away one of his sticks and made him a conductor.

Q. How do you get a guitar player to turn down his amp?
A. Put some sheet music in front of him.

Q. What's the difference between a bass player and a large pizza?
A. The pizza can feed a family of four.

Q. What do you call two violin players playing in unison?
A. A minor second.


Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Philip Glass.

What's the difference in an onion and a banjo?
Nobody cries when you cut up a banjo!

Q: How do you get a keyboardist to play quieter?
A: Take away his sheet music

[This message has been edited by trident (edited 12-15-2008).]

Thanks for that, Trident....

I really needed the laugh!

Al

Q: How do you get a keyboardist to play quieter?
A: Take away his sheet music

gotta love it ...
thnx,
t.

Question:.....what's a Sales Executive , living in Athens, Greece doing reading the Lancashire Evening Post????????
(possible explanation) he left Lancashire to see if greek was easier to understand than lankie......



------------------
Eddie from Rotherham
Skype:eddiefromrotherham
www.yamahakeyboards.info

PSR9000

I don't want to detract from the jokes above, and I was going to make a joke about hot-headed Italians (being one I can do that ), but that is a TERRIBLE story ... Is there NO respect for life ???

t.

Lol Eddie,
I have no idea where Lancashire is.

As for the Lancashire Evening Post, there is a web site called FARK, www.fark.com where people submit weird news from all over the world, along with a (usually very witty) headline. If it gets posted, you get the submitted headline, the actual article and a forum to talk about each and every article...

Great time waster!

Example: There was an article about a pet python that escaped home, and British police/city residents were trying to find it.

The user submitted headline was this:
"Sheffield residents asked to keep an eye out for Tracey. She weighs 12 pounds, is 11-feet long, hasn't eaten for two weeks and is shaped like a python"

That got me hooked. It is the only site except Synthzone that I log every day.

Ahh, and I am Greek, not a British ex-pat.

Yassus Trident
Thanks for your explanation!
Although you say you don't know where Lancashire is, let me tell you that it is one of the western counties in England, which boasts the home of Manchester (and of course Manchester United)and Liverpool, home of The Beatles, no less.
BUT , their accent in english is a little northern ( like mine, I am from Yorkshire !)
By the way, coincidentally, you quoted a headline from Sheffield, which is just up the road from me in Rotherham (5 miles).
By the way, you may like to pity me because the only time I visited Athens (on business)was when the Acropolis (or was it the Parthenon?)was closed!
The first time in I don't know how many thousands of years, and I chose that particular day...never got another chance to visit....hope the recent riot problems have not affected you.....
yassus
Eddie


------------------
Eddie from Rotherham
Skype:eddiefromrotherham
www.yamahakeyboards.info

PSR9000

[This message has been edited by eddiefromrotherham (edited 12-16-2008).]