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#326351 - 06/11/11 06:09 PM OT: How do you guys stay faithful?
doc-z Offline
Member

Registered: 08/10/05
Posts: 436
Loc: Norway
I've been happily married for ten years now, but being a full time musician has it's "hurdles". There's beer, booze, drugs and girls. And plenty to go around. How do you guys stay away from that stuff and behave like good boys?

I've always stayed faithful and never touched anything heavier than a shot of JD. But I must admit it is getting harder and harder to resist the temptations - and oh my god what great temptations they are... we are talking 9s and 10s here... even some 12s. I would never pulled that kind of girls if I weren't a piano playing mad man. But I just keep slapping myself over my wrist and telling myself I have a wife, kids, and responsibilities, they count on me, and I cannot let them down. But it is hard sometimes - for instance tonight, during my gig this smoking hot girl - mid 20s - asked me to join her in her room at the hotel I'm playing - and she would show me what the AC/DC song "You shook me all night long" is all about... Am I crazy for turning her and her peers down?

Any tips on how to keep on staying true to the wifey at home?

DocZ

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#326353 - 06/11/11 06:45 PM Re: OT: How do you guys stay faithful? [Re: doc-z]
Scottyee Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 12/01/99
Posts: 10427
Loc: San Francisco Bay Area, CA, US...
Originally Posted By: doc-z
IThere's beer, booze, drugs and girls. And plenty to go around. How do you guys stay away from that stuff and behave like good boys?
Any tips on how to keep on staying true to the wifey at home?
Doc,
When not busy satisfying the needs of your wife, family, and work,
simply keep yourself occupied here on Synthzone.
No need for booze or drugs here because
it can often already feel shocked that way when sober here.
I'm not currently married. grin

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#326354 - 06/11/11 07:13 PM Re: OT: How do you guys stay faithful? [Re: Scottyee]
travlin'easy Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 12/08/02
Posts: 15576
Loc: Forest Hill, MD USA
As Clint Eastwood once said "A man's go to know his limitations." At least I think that's what he said.

Tempting--yes. But other than my wife there's someone else I have to live with--ME! I've been getting those same invitations for most of my adult life, and every time I get one I just smile and continue singing and playing. At the end of the night, the paycheck comes, I'm packed up and in the car headed home to the person that really counts.

It was nearly 50 years ago when we exchanged vows. We've had our ups and downs, but through it all we've managed to stay together. We both made a commitment back in 1962, one that we both have lived by.

Good Luck,

Gary cool
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#326355 - 06/11/11 07:29 PM Re: OT: How do you guys stay faithful? [Re: doc-z]
Dnj Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 09/21/00
Posts: 43703
Every time this happens just think of taking all your pay and giving it to your wife for alimony & child support for a very long time after your divorced and some then other guy is sleeping in your old bed with her too..while you have nothing and breaking your kids hearts beyond belief..... wake up fast how old are you?

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#326359 - 06/11/11 08:59 PM Re: OT: How do you guys stay faithful? [Re: doc-z]
montunoman Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 10/20/09
Posts: 3227
Loc: Dallas, Texas
Very good points made so far!

Do you know what legengary saxophonist John Coltrane would do during breaks (at least after he broke his drug addiction) He practiced!
Miles Davis said when Trane was on stage blowing, even if the most beautiful naked lady came by, Trane would not even notice. He was all about the music! Women are attracted to skillful talented men. I'm sure Trane had all kinds of women after him. But by all accounts he was completely focussed on the music and improving himself both spiritually and musically.

As Gary said, you have to live with yourself. Say you were on your death bed. Would rather go knowing that you gave your all to your Family, and art or that you just wasted your talent on cheap,shallow, empty, meaningless pursuits? The choice is yours.
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#326361 - 06/11/11 09:26 PM Re: OT: How do you guys stay faithful? [Re: montunoman]
Dnj Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 09/21/00
Posts: 43703
"5 Minutes of Pleasure.......A LIFETIME OF MISERY"

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#326366 - 06/12/11 02:37 AM Re: OT: How do you guys stay faithful? [Re: doc-z]
doc-z Offline
Member

Registered: 08/10/05
Posts: 436
Loc: Norway
I turn 33 this summer. A lot of wise words here guys. Thank you for that. I guess I only needed to share my dilemmas with someone who understands. My friends doesn't get it - but you guys do.

I guess my problem is that I will always have this sense of wonder. "What would it be like?" "Why do I always have to be a good boy, why can't I be bad - for just one moment?" "No one would have to know right?"

But deep inside I know that the fantasy, or anticipation probably surpass the actual experience. It is like Christmas you know, after the presents are all opened, all the magic is gone.

I'm going to keep staying strong, sober and true - but it's that darn curiosity that keeps nagging like a devil on my shoulder. I wish there was a pill for that sometimes.

But you are all right, it is what truly matters in life that counts, and divorce is a bitch...

DocZ

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#326367 - 06/12/11 02:40 AM Re: OT: How do you guys stay faithful? [Re: doc-z]
Dnj Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 09/21/00
Posts: 43703
Think of YOUR VOWS you both took....."To Death Do Us Part"

No one twisted your arm to get married...it was YOUR choice.

Bring your wife on your gigs also that will help.




Edited by Dnj (06/12/11 02:41 AM)

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#326368 - 06/12/11 03:40 AM Re: OT: How do you guys stay faithful? [Re: doc-z]
Nigel Offline
Admin

Registered: 06/01/98
Posts: 6483
Loc: Ventura CA USA
Originally Posted By: doc-z
I guess my problem is that I will always have this sense of wonder. "What would it be like?" "Why do I always have to be a good boy, why can't I be bad - for just one moment?" "No one would have to know right?"


Well you actually do know what it would be like ... simply nothing more than sexual pleasure that is over briefly. But as for anyone not knowing then there is no guarantee of that .... just ask Tiger Woods .... and there is an endless list of people ( including non celebrities ) who figured no-one would know ... but they were wrong and it tore their lives apart.

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#326393 - 06/12/11 10:13 PM Re: OT: How do you guys stay faithful? [Re: Nigel]
Henni Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 12/01/08
Posts: 3456
Loc: South Africa
Hi,

There is NOTHING more fulfilling in this life than to be truly loved and appreciated by someone. Something to treasure for the rest of one's life.

Bet you a few minutes of fun with one of those seemingly "stunning" ladies will not yield the same and more than likely cause you to loose what you now have.

I always reason, if those beautifull ladies are willing to risk it all to do it for me, then once they're mine they'll most probably do it for someone else also. Very few things hurt like an unfaithful partner - so I steer clear of these.

Henni
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