Stevie Wonder is playing his 1st gig in China and the place is packed to the rafters. In a bid to break the ice he asks if anyone has a request.

One chap jumps out of his seat in the 1st row and shouts at the top of his voice "Play a jazz chord! play a jazz chord!"

Amazed that this guy knows about the jazz influences in Stevie's career, the blind impresario starts to play an E minor scale and then goes into a difficult jazz melody for about 10 minutes. When he finishes the whole place goes wild.

The chap jumps out of his seat again and shouts "No, no, play a jazz chord, play a jazz chord".

A bit cheesed off by this, Stevie, being the professional that he is, dives straight in to a jazz improvisation with his band around the B flat minor chord and really tears the place apart. The crowd goes ballistic with this impromptu show of his musical expertise.

But, still the little Chinese man jumps up again and shouts "No, no. Play a jazz chord, play a jazz chord".

Stevie is really annoyed now that this chap doesn't seem to appreciate his playing ability and shouts to him from the stage "OK - you get up here and do it".

The little bloke climbs onto the stage, takes hold of the mike and starts to sing............

"A jazz chord to say, I ruv you... "

Henni

Henni, I think that one may be almost as old as Confucius, but still pretty funny!
Ok, since we're on the subject of Stevie Wonder,
and realizing we've got avid golfers (DonM etc.) among us here as well:

At a recent celebrity party, Stevie Wonder met Tiger Woods and mentioned that he, too, is an excellent golfer. Tiger was a bit skeptical that Mr. Wonder could play golf well, but was too polite to say anything. "When I tee off, " Stevie explained, "I have a guy call to me from the green. My sharp sense of hearing lets me aim. "Tiger was impressed, so Stevie suggested that they play a round. When Tiger agreed, Stevie asks, "How about if we play for $10,000 a hole?" Tiger insisted he couldn't possibly play him for money because of his sight handicap. But Stevie argued and badgered Tiger until Tiger finally relented. Stevie said "You pick the place and I'll pick the time?" Tiger said "Fine. Pebble Beach". Stevie replied "Midnight!".

Reminds me of this one:

A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight.

The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easy.

So the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game.

The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists saying that the game is a lot of fun. I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5. Then you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500, he says.This catches the senior's attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?'

The senior doesn't say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

Now it's the senior's turn. He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?'

The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he could find on the Net.

He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up.

He wakes the senior and hands him $500. The senior pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep. The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the senior up and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?'

The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.

Henni

Hilarious! However, when I posted it some months ago I was accused of making derogatory racial jokes and even though I didn't think so, I apologized. The thread was eventually removed! I'm happy that most of the accusers are no longer posting here.
DonM

Hi,

You know Henni, reading a joke is not the same as been told it by someone, there is just something missing. Still funny a bit.

When my B-3 player retired and I started playing jazz gigs on a B-3, I was nervous about a club in Louisville, because I knew some of the regulars and they were hard on musicians who didn't meet their expectations.

One little dude says, "hey man, play somethin". I played my best jazz medley, then found out that he wanted me to play the Beetles tune, "Something".

I didn't know it at the time (just started playing B-3), and about got chased out of the place.


Tough crowd!

R.