Mark, if you have truly burned out, which is rare for this industry, then I would suggest selling all that gear, get the Hell off the music forums, walk away and don't look back. Nothing said here, apparently, is really going to change your mind.

I did the exact same thing when I worked in medicine. After 15 years, working 80 to 100-hour weeks, I burned out. I was down to 145 pounds, like the walking dead, and had badly neglected my family for 15 years. I walked away in 1975 and never looked back. This despite many, many offers from various medical facilities to work for them at a much higher salary.

Therefore, if you can financially do it, and you have truly burned out, take the money from the gear you sell on Ebay or wherever, and use it to do something that has been on your bucket list forever. Life is way too damned short to do things you really don't enjoy doing. For a half-century I've been slowly but surely nibbling down that bucket list, but something always seems to be added to the bucket, which is not a bad thing. I took a big chunk out of the bucket, though, when I purchased that 33-foot Morgan Out Island sailboat, set sail, pointed the bow south, and sailed it to the Florida Keys. I had the best of both worlds, living aboard the boat, playing music in the Tiki Bars, and enjoying a dress code where formal was considered clean shorts, Hawaiian shirt and sandals.

Now, I still love playing music, but I also love sailing to far-off places and meeting people from all walks of life. If there ever comes a time when there's not a song playing in the cobwebs of my aging mind, it will mean I TOO have either burned out, or I died but no one told me yet.

Gotta go to work! Another happy hour job this afternoon,

Gary

Mark, I have to say, I can identify with your present situation, mainly because I have been through it, in some form or another, several times in my 40 plus years as a pro player...I am now 64 years old, and once again in the midst of change regarding my musical career. Strangely enough, I find it an exciting, rather than a negative, feeling.

Similar to what has been stated above in different forms, I have learned the way to longevity in the "business" is re-inventing yourself and/or your art.

Nothing wrong with taking a break and re-evaluating your situation...sometimes you have to surrender a little to win, but that shouldn't mean "giving up" entirely. In some instances, you have to step back to be able to see your future direction. But, and this is important, if you LOVE playing, you must treat this stepping back as temporary.

I will not share my own new direction at this point, but, needless to say, I have stepped back, and I have several related ideas I am considering pursuing. I go by the expression I learned from my martial arts master many years ago..."no one has ever had a filling, without an emptying to give it room."

Use your break time wisely...something that was, at one time, only a part of what you did, may be the beginning of a whole new direction. I was one of the first keyboard players in my area to utilize a polyphonic synthesizer...having that instrument, and a thorough knowledge of how to use it, led to work in CBC Radio Canada, doing "do-nuts" which were musical tone poems or phrases, before and after a particular show or anouncement. That led to recording work with visiting artists using the radio station's, then state of the art, 4-track studio, adding strings, brass and poly synth sounds, as well as playing the studio's grand piano. My experience with synths led to a early stint with Yamaha Canada when the CS-80/60/50 was introduced. That contact with Yamaha, plus my earlier years of Royal Conservatory training, became an opportunity for me to teach Electone Organ and some piano using Yamaha's method (I literally trained on the job). That eventually led to teaching the then newly emerging arranger instruments, which opened the way to clinician/demonstrator work with Roland and Yamaha.

In between, I worked in keyboard sales which helped strengthen my ability to work with the public, and to broaden my instrument knowledge...both very useful in other areas.

The point I'm trying to make is that somewhere in your musical skill set; you know, the one that you developed and invested in over the years, may be a useful ability that you can further develop and market. Why waste those attributes that you formulated over your musical career, such as playing proficiency, instrument knowledge, people skills, handling money, promotional knowledge etc.?

There is some excellent advice from the above posters, especially the heartfelt recommendation of not giving up too easily.

Only you can decide if you are totally done, or just temporarily between positions.

Good luck with whatever you choose.

Ian

Lugged a CS-60 around for years, Ian! Loved that pitch strip...

Glad I never got the CS-80 though. Had a friend with one, and tuning it was a nightmare!

Plus, the CS-80 was only 220 lbs.!

I really liked it's weighted (more like semi-weighted) keyboard and the poly aftertouch (as well as very good velocity response)...rumor has it, there is a working CS-80 still at Yamaha Canada in Ontario...probably the same one I trained on.

It was updated a few times, but tuning was still an issue, and it is definitely more of a studio instrument than for stage but hey, Stevie Wonder and Vangelis knew a good thing when they heard and played it. Stevie Wonder used to do trills on it with the pitch strip....a very cool feature.

A friend recently purchased a really groovy VST...Arturia's CS-80V. It's an amazing, very authentic software synth plug-in that is modeled after the CS-80...major enhancements include stereo voices, non-drifting oscillators, advanced modulation abilities, MIDI/Tempo sync, patch memory (the CS-80 would only hold six patches), total recall, controller automation...all very useful, indeed.

There are a few synth patches on my Tyros4 very reminiscent of some of those I could create on the CS-80, but they just don't have that rawness that the latter could produce, but, they are close enough for my ears and usage, and, if I want more like the real deal, I can always spring for the VST.

Getting back to Mark's topic, music was too much "in my blood" for me to stay away from it for any length of time...I hope he finds a solution instead of giving up.

Ian

The only time I "stayed away" from music was after I moved to RI ... after having been in a band with the same guys for 26 years, I did not feel 'comfortable' playing ... I didn't play a gig for 7 years!!! ... I would sit at the piano at home on a Friday or Saturday night for hours on end playing and singing ... finally my wife said "I don't want to chase you out of the house, but I know you miss playing - have some business cards made and try to get a gig." Fortunately, I followed her advice ...

Wow! Seven years! Tony, I think the longest I was away from actually gigging was about a year or so.

I can relate to the not feeling comfortable, especially coming from a long term band situation...the first gigs I did solo I felt very ALONE, but I got to appreciate the perks, such as being my own boss, practicing as often as I wanted, and, of course, basking in all the glory.

Lately, I don't jam with the guys as often, because of our short, precious summer, but come the winter, we'll do duos and trios and make lots of racket. It will be especially welcome since my retirement from Yamaha this past spring, and give me another opportunity to play besides here in my new apartment. Plus, they always come up with some great old tunes I'd never think of playing.

The old expression, "there's a home for every puppy", means that there is quite likely someplace we can keep up our skills and express ourselves musically...even unpaid "jam sessions" with our buds are good for keeping our chops up, for one never knows when another playing situation will arise.

Ian

Never COMPLETELY gave up gigging, but until this year, had cut back quite a bit. The economy and BP had all but killed the Gulf Coast, and once you drop your price, takes forever to get it back up!

Better to sit out and wait for things to improve (which they have)....

101 lbs for the CS-60... yay! Lightweight synths..!

For the past six months, I have worked very little. After breaking off the job I played five nights a week for something like 25 years, I was devastated, and really got down. Then my wife told me she enjoyed having weekends with me. She told me not to go back and bury the hatchet, so I didn't.
Now, I'm playing just private parties, and a night every week or so at the country club (literally in my back yard).
I now find that when I do work, I'm enjoying it even more. I'm even trying to become more of a morning person but haven't made much progress yet. I did get up and go fishing at 7 a.m. a couple of times last week though.
I'm absolutely certain I could go out and find more work, but I want to enjoy this change of pace at least for a while longer.
I hope Mark finds the answer that is best for him.
DonM