Here's something interesting. Last night the frustration dreams are back. I noticed that for the last 7 days I was bad dream free, slept real good but as soon as the keys were set up the dreams came back. The dreams are of me trying to get to the gig and having barriers like can't find keys, no transportation, no money, equipment failure. All of frustration . So I'm wonder after another week of leaving the keyboards up if the dreams continue. Then put them away and see what happens . So any therapist out there got any ideas. I think it's the universe telling me to move on as I never really liked performing live in the first place, but i like playing around in the studio. any thoughts would be helpful.

I think, this topic is okay for our usual board (not everyone checks the Bar frequently);
I can’t provide you with a professional opinion; to me any scheduled activity is a commitment, which activates some countdown timer in subconscious. I guess when public performance is a regular activity, you get used to it, but if it’s seldom, it’s more (overly) exiting. Personally, I became much less uptight since I stopped drinking tea&coffee; but so far I still didn’t get back into gigging life, while I’m making steps towards it, there’s a lot of thinking about other options.

i was able to talk to a therapist friend of mine yesterday. i was doing some computer work when the discussion turned toward this topic. her opinion was after years of performing live and being under the pressure of performing (my situation was in large concert with big name artists and studio work), maybe the universe was telling me (in retirement) to lighten up and start having fun. this is what i did new years eve. so my keys are staying and i have taken a different attitude to my music and playing at 72 years old.
thank you for your input.

Wrinkles...Honestly, if you aren't having as much fun at what you are doing, find something new to do. Find that passion and give that a go.

Sometimes you have to close one door to allow another to open. My wife keeps telling me...
If you always do, what you've always done, then you will always get what you always got.

You will always cherish the time with your music, now it's maybe time just to listen to others, but find your new passion.

Allan

I often had the same performance anxieties that kept me up at least the night before a show. The more often I played helped it become less as a routine was established, but in slower times it builds again. Playing (out) regularly builds your confidence that overrides the anxiety. When I slowed down and considered stopping, which I did, I experienced the stresses again which actually contributed to my decision to quit performing.
I believe it is also related to personality traits. I've known some narcissistic performers who dont have this problem. Their ego just doesn't allow it. Though this ironically helps them succeed, I'm glad I am not one of them.

I too have these weird dreams - getting to the job and nothing works, etc - total frustration. I thought it was just me. Sure is nice when I wake up from these events. Also serves to better check things before heading out - live time.

Hi Wrinkles....you used the word "universe." I'm guessing you're a "Spiritual" person. That's the way we talk.

I think about that a lot. Just haven't got the nerve, at this age, to take that "leap of faith" and hope I land on both feet.



Not only close it but seal it up with cement and....don't look back!




...and it doesn't necessarily have to be outside of music.

I think about that a lot. Just haven't got the nerve, at this age, to take that "leap of faith" and hope I land on both feet.
There is no better time than now, as the days aren't getting any longer, and you already have plenty of live experience to give some/ anything a go.

Not only close it but seal it up with cement and....don't look back!

That is a good way of looking at it, and it tells me you are your own master in reality; plus deep down you are strong than you are able to admit).

...and it doesn't necessarily have to be outside of music.
So what is wrong with taking up the Didgeridoo? ( Ok I am from OZ) Lol. If it stirs your soul and gives you peace, do it!