Hi Walt, Interesting set of questions - May I suggest some answers ? (There may be more!)
1. Q.(How do I tell my mother in law not
to visit so often?)
A. Tell her the mice keep jumping into the Traps as she comes through the door and you just hate cruelty to animals.
2. Q.(How do I tell my hands to play better
music?
A. Tell them if they don't do better, you'll take up Drums.
3. Q.(How can I see all those black notes
without changing my glasses)
A. Just ignore them - the sharps are dangerous to the touch and the flats are just out of tune anyway.
4. Q.(How come the keyboard appears much
heavier after I am packing up from a gig?)
A. Try removing from the carrying case, all the bottles of booze, accumulated during the gig.
5. Q.(How do you not play "misty" more than
once during the evening)
A. There's no answer to this!
6. Q.(How do you tell people you're not playing too loud, and there is something wrong with their hearing)
A. Just shout back at them "Sorry! I can't hear you for this damned Keyboard!"
7. Q.(How do you answers questions when your
playing a song and people want to have an in depth conversation with you)
A. Say "Nicht Verstehen English"
8. Q.(How do you play a song when the request
is -it goes something like this ---)
A. Just smile, play "Misty" and swear that's what they were La-La-ing
9. Q.(How do you play a song when someone
stands along side of you to see
"How do you do that")
A. Just remind them that you don't stand watching them while they are 'performing'
10. Q.(How do you get the money for a new KN7000
A. Sell the Mother-in Law!
------------------
Willum