Thanks to Scott Yee's sister Kathy for this one......
Subject: Andy Rooney
> >>
> >>1. Andy Rooney on Monica. Can you believe it? Monica turned 28 this week.
> >>It seems like only yesterday that she was crawling round the White House
> > on
> >>her hands and knees.
> >>
> >>2. Andy Rooney on Vegetarians. Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word
> >>meaning "lousy hunter".
> >>
> >>3. Andy Rooney on Prisoners. Did you know that it costs forty thousand
> >>dollars a year to house each prisoner? Jeez, for forty thousand bucks
> >>apiece I'll take a few prisoners into my house. I live in Los Angeles. I
> >>already have bars on the windows. I don't think we should give free room
> >>and board to criminals. I think they should have to run twelve hours a day
> >
> >>on a treadmill and generate electricity. And, if they don't want to run,
> >>they can rest in the chair that's hooked up to the generator.
> >>
> >>4. Andy Rooney on Fabric Softeners. My wife uses fabric softener. I never
> >>knew what that stuff was for.Then I noticed women coming up to me,
> >>sniffing, then saying under their breath, "Married!" and walking away.
> >>Fabric softeners are how our wives mark their territory. We can take off
> >>the ring. But, it's hard to get that April Fresh scent out of your
> > clothes.
> >>
> >>5. Andy Rooney on morning differences. Men and women are different in the
> >>morning. We men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just
> >>wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, "How can he want me
> >>the way I look in the morning?" It's because we can't see you. We have no
> >>blood anywhere near our optic nerve.
> >>
> >>6. Andy Rooney on cripes My wife's from the Midwest. Very nice people
> >>there. Very wholesome. They use words like 'Cripes' 'For Cripes sake.' Who
> >
> >>would that be; Jesus Cripes? The son of 'Gosh' of the church of 'Holy
> >>Moly'? I'm not making fun of it. You think I wanna burn in 'Heck'?
> >>
> >>7. Rooney on Grandma My grandmother has a bumper sticker on her car that
> >>says, 'Sexy Senior Citizen.' You don't want to think of your grandmother
> >>that way, do you? Out entering wet shawl contests. Makes you wonder where
> >>she got that dollar she gave you for your birthday.
> >>
> >>8. Rooney on answering machines. Did you ever hear one of these corny
> >>positive messages on someone's answering machine? "Hi, it's a great day
> > and
> >>I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day
> >
> >>is: "Share the love." BEEP "Uh, yeah...this is the VD clinic
> >>calling....Speaking of being positive, your test results are back. Stop
> >>sharing the love.." Andy Rooney
> >

Anyone who knows Andy Rooney, knows he would never say any of these silly statements.

Sorry Tony, this one's been around for awhile, and it's a hoax made up by someone who is desperate to have popular celeberties on their "side".
http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/rooney3.asp

Larry Hawk

Larry....No need to be sorry, Thanks for the
enlightenment....Someone passed it on to me and I thought it was interesting and humorous enough to pass on.....again, thank for the link.....that WAS interesting....
Tony Rome

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
Andy Rooney

THIS....made me SMILE.....thank you.....
Tony Rome

I don't know if it's really fair to say these quotes should or should not be attributed to Andy Rooney.
The link http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/rooney3.asp is one person's opinion, posting something they believe to be correct, whether it is in fact accurate or not.
What it comes down to, and this works both for and against, is..."Don't believe everything you see on the internet, ...just because it's on the internet".

....just my thots...

------------------
...shboom

[This message has been edited by shboom (edited 09-09-2005).]

Andy's or not, there ARE some funny ones ..
t.

I couldn't agree more.

------------------
...shboom

Indeed.

-ED-

Shboom
It's not just one person's opinion if it is true or not. There are quite a few sites that expose the myth. Sometimes, even the offical website of the celeberty will make a note of the fiction that is being emailed
Example:
From George Carlin's offical website: http://www.georgecarlin.com/home/home.html

There is a new bogus Carlin email circulating, which you can see here - it's utterly NOT Carlin's work. New Note [06/01]: Another bogus Carlin piece about life going backwards (also available here and 48,000 other places online). This one has also been attributed to Robert Benson and Andy Rooney. [06/01]: More lists of jokes [ie: "When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?"] being forwarded around the Internet that are not Carlin. It will never end. [07/01] Here are 3 joke lists that were not written by George Carlin: this includes the "Bad American" email that has been making the rounds. We may repeat ourselves here a little in the name of truth...)


I suppose common sense rules, and common sense tells me this is not Andy Rooney.

I know I wouldn't want to be quoted saying something completly opposite of my beliefs.

SeeYa
Larry