THIS COMES FROM AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST. KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS
>ABOUTTHE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE
>WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED NOR CORRECTED.
>>
>>INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN.
>>1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF
>>CREATING
>>THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.
>>
>>2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN
>>OF
>>ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.
>>
>>3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE
>>DURING THE NIGHT.
>>
>>4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD
>>TROUBLE
>>WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.
>>
>>5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL
>>LIKE DELILAH.
>>
>>6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.
>>
>>7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD
>>WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.
>>
>>8, THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES
>>WENT
>>UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.
>>
>>9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.
>>
>>10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.
>>
>>11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA. THEN JOSHUA LED THE
>>HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.
>>
>>12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO
>>STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.
>>
>>13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE
>>FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.
>>
>>14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.
>>
>>15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA
>>CARTA.
>>
>>16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND
>>JESUS
>>IN THE MANAGER.
>>
>>17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.
>>
>>18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.
>>
>>19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS
>>BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT
>>ALONE.
>>
>>20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET
>>THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.
>>
>>21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.
>>
>>22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.
>>
>>23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN..
>>
>>24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH
>>IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.
>>
>>25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY
>>
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