Redneck Church

1. You know you're in a Redneck Church if ...
the finance committee refuses to provide funds to purchase
a chandelier because no one knows how to play one.

2. You know you're in a Redneck Church if .
when people learn that Jesus fed the 5000, they ask whether
the fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

3. You know you're in a Redneck Church if ...
when the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take the
offering", five guys and two women stand up.

4. You know you're in a Redneck Church if ...
opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.


5. You know you're in a Redneck Church if...
a member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck
because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of" (Love it!)

6. You know you're in a Redneck Church if ...
the choir is known as the "OK Chorale".

7. You know you're in a Redneck Church if ...
in a congregation of 500 members, there are
only seven last names in the church directory.

8. You know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too
heavy.

9. You know you're in a Redneck Church if ..
the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized "Wheeling" washtub.

10. You know you're in a Redneck Church...
if the choir robes were donated by and embroidered with the logo
from Billy Bob's Barbecue.

11. You know you're in a Redneck Church if....
the collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.

12. You know you're in a Redneck Church if....
instead of a bell you are called to service by a duck call.

13. You know you're in a Redneck Church if...
the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.

14. You know you're in a Redneck Church if...
the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".

15. You know you're in a Redneck Church if...
"Thou shall not covet" applies to huntin' dogs, too.

16. You know you're in a Redneck Church if
the benediction ends with, "Y'all come back now, Ya hear".

Sorry to hijack the thread, but my favorite "redneck" joke is that one:

You know you are a redneck,
if you think the last words in the national anthem are "Gentlemen, start your engines!"