It happened that a Priest and a Lawyer died the same day.
When they got to the Pearly Gates, the Priest knew he would be welcome and started to walk right through. St. Peter stopped him saying, "Please wait just a minute, Father."
St. Peter then took the lawyer by the arm and personally escorted him through the Gate, giving him a warm welcome.
He then turned to the Priest and said, "O.K. Father, you can come through now." The Priest said, "Thank you, but why did the lawyer get such preferential treatment?"
St. Peter said, "Oh, we have lots of Priests up here, but he is the first lawyer!"
DonM

How does a lawyer practice birth control?
With his personality!

(don't show this post to my mother's side of the family)

Last night as I lay sleeping
I died or so it seemed,
I then went up to heaven
But only in my dream;

Up there St. Peter met me
Standing at the gates,
He said, "I'll check your record
Please stand here and wait."
He turned and said, "Your record
Is covered with terrible flaws,
On earth I see you rallied
For every losing cause,"

I see that you drank alcohol
And smoked and used drugs too,
Fact is, you've done everything
A good person should never do.

We can't have people like you up here
Your life was full of sin,
Then he read the last of my record
Took my hand and said "Come in."

He led me up to the big boss and said
"Take her in and treat her well,"
She used to work for a lawyer,
She's done her time in hell.


[This message has been edited by renig (edited 03-03-2006).]