A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.

The waitress asks for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"
"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $9.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out
the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries, and a coke." The ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until, the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress.
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato, and salad," says the man. "Same," says the ostrich. Shortly the
waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62." Once again he man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and
places it on the table. The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer.

"Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered
me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "But, sir, what's with the
ostrich?" The man sighs, pauses, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say."

Cheers,

Gary

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Travlin' Easy

Very Good Gary.

I think it was the same man (after his ostrich passed away) that came into a bar, sat down at the corner barstool, reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny upright piano, about 8" high. He reached into his other pocket and retrieved a tiny stool, which he gently placed in front of the piano. All the while the bartender is watching this, his curiosity growing by the second.
The man reaches into the breast pocket of his jacket and brings out a little man, fully dressed in a tuxedo.
He places the little man at the piano who in turn begins to play the most amazing music one has ever heard.

"That's amazing!!", says the bartender. "Where did you find him?", he asks.
The man pulled out a small bottle. There's a genie in this bottle, and he'll grant you one wish, but you'll have to speak very clearly as he's getting old and doesn't hear too well.
"Can I try it?", the barkeep asks. "Sure...go ahead, just take the lid off the bottle and speak clearly into it".

POOF!!..the next thing you know the bar was filled to the rafters with ducks, feathers flying all over, duck shit all over the floor, it was a disgusting mess.

"Hey!!" yells the bartender, "I didn't ask for a million ducks!"
The man calmly replied,"Yeah, I know, and I didn't ask for a 12 inch pianist!"

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...shboom

[This message has been edited by shboom (edited 01-22-2006).]

Love it! My wife said the hearing was the third thing to go, the mind was the second, and I can't remember what the first was.

Gary

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Travlin' Easy

Good ones GUYS:
I'm going to the shower now to clean up the mess.....pose

... MUCH LATER THAT SAME EVENING ...

The guy walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says "This is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache" ... from the bed, his wife says "That's not a pig, dummy, that's a sheep" ... the guy says to his wife "I wasn't talking to YOU !!!"
t.