Hi all....
Long time no hear, hope everybody is doing ok.

I do have something I'd like to share with everybody here and hoping that you guys can share your .02 cents:

Guys,

I'm sure everybody here has gone through some kind of problems in the workplace...well....please read my (long) situation below and hope you can share your .02 cents

Here's the situation:

I deal with a first-time supervisor who only a few weeks into my employement started treating me disrespectully, many times also seem bothered if I get more recognition for my achievement and results from our boss (or others in the company). There are other things (including constant jokes at my expense, patronizing way of talking, etc). He reacted negatively to both times when I tried to resign from the company (calling me backstabber, threatened (or in his words "joking") to spread untruth rumours about me, etc). Many times I did not get clear instructions from him and had to make executive decisions, and then being critizised or questions afterwards. He also snapped at me during stressful times either at work or when he is having problem at home.

After an extended period of time (two years) of dealing with this...I decided enough is enough and finally I gave my resignation (with six weeks notice). This is the third (and final) time for me trying to resign from this position.

Now, here's the twist....right after I gave my resignation, a few upper echelon directors/VP showed interests in finding out why I resign....as well as they started to point out all my results, etc....witnessing all this, my supervisor has changed his behavior quite a bit (damage control?!).....I've done an 'informal' exit interview with one of the top directors of the company....I did not mention any specifics but I did mention that the reason why I am leaving is because "In my opinion, I have a certain expectations about respect, supportive and positive work environment, and unfortunately in this case we have a mismatched expectations in those areas"....ok I may sound like a diplomat, but in my own vague way, I wanted to give him the idea that something is wrong...when the director pressed for more details, I said that "well, such and such person is a respectful very respectful, etc...(all good things)" and when the director asked about my direct supervisor...I paused for probably 10 seconds and later on I said "I learned a lot from him"

OK....obviously the director (who exit interviewed me) is pretty sensitive of what's going on...he wanted to meet me one more time before I leave....

If you were in my situation, would you air the dirty laundry at that time or would you just leave and maintain your 'silence'? I know that at least within the past three-four weeks many has mentioned/expressed their appreciation to what I've done for the company, so I know they are aware of my contribution..I can't mention specifics, but they have done quite a few damage control just to keep me there until the end of the year.

My plan was going to just say "Well, I did have various problems with my supervisor, our personality and his management/personality/communication style was not a good fit" and leave it at that....do you think that's good enough or should I let it go?

Comments are appreciated.

I think you should tell what really happened. If you don't, your replacement will have the same do-do to put up with.
DonM

Yes you should tell all. I am a suporvisor where I work. I let all my co-workers know all their options, even if it is with me! Most of them did not know their options before I told them... pretty sad in current day corperate America.

No one can address a problem that they can't identify. Blow the whistle, but do it with grace and respect.

Thanks all for your answer....

I just wanted to make sure I didn't 'burn any bridges' although pretty unlikely I will go back to work for the company..I was promised however to receive letters of recommendation (one from another manager, two from other top directors (CEO and CFO)and this director himself promised me one..), so as far as recommendations, I should be good to go...I think.

I will say though...the selfish part of me think...yeah all the stuff I'm sharing now is for the benefit of the next person...but I'm the one bearing the risk...after putting up and giving a lot to the company (earning them more than a couple mill last year-without any big bonuses until my resignation which they promptly threw in almost 25% raise- which is more of a damage control rather than for appreciation), part of me is saying, stop giving...

I predict my boss may say something like "How could you do this to me, I thought you a lot, I shared a lot of knowledge, info with you, etc.." or "I treated you nicely, I let you go home early (after all my stuff are done btw), etc.." which in my opinion, he made things that a manager SUPPOSED to do but he made it sound like he did me a favor. Heck knowing him, he might try to email me at home about this (my mistake for giving him my home email).

Don't get me wrong though...I am not in anyway bitter, after all I did learn a lot, but I just want to look out for myself too.

Additional comments are appreciated.

Sounds familiar. I resigned a $7,000 a month retainer client several years ago. It was a small private Kentucky college. The president is a minister/insurance agent (fundraiser) who was fired by his own church twice for doing exactly what we're talking about. In this case, he makes the lives of all his direct reports miserable and goes to great lengths to make it nearly impossible for those he reports to (the board) to know what's really going on. There is no faculty/staff representation on the board. The board got some wind that there was a problem, and I was hired to research the situation. I discovered that 75% of the faculty and staff had been at the institution less than 5 years, and 80% of the faculty/staff reported that the administration was totally closed to any imput. I discovered later that this guy edited the final research report to make it favorable to the administration. I was then hired to be the communications consultant. No faculty/staff members would even talk to me, at first, so I had my people go out of their way to build a level of trust. As that happened, I was asked to do our work off-campus. When board members came to the restaurant where I played and mention to the president that they saw me, a VERY WORRIED president asked me to write a "contact report" detailing our conversation. If I ran into a board member on campus, this guy would literally run to interrupt the contact.

Hundreds of kids left dissatisfied. Faculty turnover is about 4 times the national average.

The guy is still there, making everyone miserable with his half-truths, intimidation, etc.

He'll be found out, but, in the meantime, is still destroying the place.

The damage is massive. As in your case, the organization management needs to be informed so they can fix the problem. Sadly, politics on college campuses are sometimes darker and more damaging than in Corporate America.

Sometimes, doing the right thing means telling the truth, even if someone is terminated in the process. I tried by talking to the one board member I knew casually, but the guy promised to change, and doubled his efforts to "hide, intimidate and separate". The board only visits the campus 4 times a year, and is comprised completely of large doners.They take no on-going active role in management.

I'd do what I could to call attention to the problem for employees who stay and for the organization itself.

It's been three years, and this situation still really bothers me.


Good luck,


Russ

..... NOT telling the truth harms more ...
t.

[This message has been edited by tony mads usa (edited 11-17-2006).]

Just another yes be truthful I'd tell it like it as and as Uncle Dave has said, "blow the whistle and do it with respect."

Good luck.

Lots of good advises, but what I miss..
Did you ever talk to that supervisor straight and told him what is bugging you about his behaviour???

Just a thought..

Fred

Why would you NOT tell the truth? What are you afraid of? Tell it like it is.

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Bill
Yamaha PSR2000