A young couple decides to marry, but sadly, in the last day before the wedding, a terrible accident occurs and the both end up dead...
Since they were nice people, they go to Heaven...
After some months, they make an appointment with the head angel and ask if they can be married in heaven, just like they were going to back in earth.
The angel replies "This is most unusual, you should make an appointment with God himself"
They make the appoiontment and God replies, "If you wish so, wait for 5 years and if you still want to be married, come again and we will see"
5 years pass by, they still want it, they ask God for it and they get the same answer, "If you wish so, wait for 5 more years and if you still want to be married, come again and we will see"
5 more years pass by, they ask yet again, and God says "Ok, we weill do it now"
The ceremony is spectacular, everyone is invited, and they are happy... but some months pass and they realise they made a mistake... so they go in front of God again and ask for a divorce...
And God says, "afraid it is not possible... It took us 10 years to find a priest in heaven, how many years do you suppose it will take us to find a lawyer?"
One dark night outside a small town, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink it exploded into flames. The alarm went out to the fire departments from miles around.
When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will give $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact".
But the roaring flames held the firefighters off. Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate.
As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now $100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the company's secret files.
From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the nearby Jewish rural township volunteer fire company composed entirely of menschen over the age of 65. To everyone's amazement, the little run-down fire engine operated by this Jewish Fire Department passed all the newer sleek engines parked outside the plant.....and drove straight into the middle of the inferno.
Outside the other firemen watched as the Jewish old timers jumped off and began to fight the fire with a performance and effort never seen before.
Within a short time, the Jewish old timers had extinguished the fire and saved the secret formulas.
The grateful chemical company president joyfully announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave, though elderly, Jewish fire fighters.
The local TV news reporters rushed in after capturing the event on film asking, "What are you going to do with all that money?"
"Vell," said Abe Hertzfeld, the 70-year-old fire chief, "the foist thing ve're going to do is fix the brakes on that god damned truck!"
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