I didn't think so, but here it is anyway.

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.


Ø Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Ø If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

Ø War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Ø Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Ø To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; To steal from many is research.

Ø A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

Ø I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Ø A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Ø The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Ø I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure..

Ø I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

Ø You're never too old to learn something stupid.


chas

Three little ducks go into a Bar........

'Say, what's your name?' the bartender asked the first duck.

'Huey,' was the reply.
......
'How's your day been, Huey?'

'Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?' said Huey.

'Oh. That's nice,' said the bartender. He turned to the second duck, 'Hi, and what's your name?'

'Dewey, ' came the answer from duck number two.

'So how's your day been, Dewey! ?' he asked.

'Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?'

The bartender turned to the third duck and said, 'So, you must be Louie?'

'No,' she said, batting her eyelashes.

'My name is Puddles.'

WOW! Talk about two different worlds!

Russ

So if your mother says "Your girlfriend looks nice.....from a distance", it's not that she is a master of the awkward comment, she's a satirist .

chas

A few more...

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but check when you say the paint is wet?

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're still here