Well Docz,
Let me put you at rest. There will always be a battle between right and wrong and you get to choose which one you pay in to.
Many years ago I was in the place you are now and I took the step, it ended up in a divorce and the price I paid was beyond what I ever imagined. Let me list them:
1-It cost me more than half of the money I had.
2-I hurt a good wife who did not deserve what I did.
3-My oldest son turned from me. The first child is always so special, I lost that relationship.
4-My wife who was so faithful and never strayed invited a man to live with her and my 4 children, the man and my ex-wife slept together in my bed/in my home.
5-I married the girl I was cheating with, the precious holiday I shared with my own family were no longer. I spent my holidays with my new family which I never felt part of.
6-I remember walking out my front door of my home and having a good feeling about all that I had done to that home. The added room, the planted bushes, and the things I had made. The home I moved into which was twice the size never gave me that feeling, I now lived in a home with 14 rooms 5 bathrooms that felt empty.
Today I am happily married/committed and the thought of getting involved is gone. I am a marriage counselor in my church and I spend my time trying to help people put values back into their marriage.
Would I be unfaithful to my wife of 15 years? No never, and not just because I don’t want to hurt her, I would not get involved because I would never want to do that to myself again. My first wife and children and parents were hurt by what I had done but none received the nightmare I gave myself.
On the job when a woman offers me the opportunity I smile think, "I would never do that to myself again".
So John what is the worst decision you have made in your life? To give in to a brief moment of what I viewed as pleasure and excitement; God what a price to pay.
John C.