Yesterdays adventure had me in the emergency room for 3 1/2 hours and luckily I narrowly pulled through alright. I will type you a copy of Doctor Cynthia Asbjornsen�s , D.O. . instructions to me. Word for Word
SPECIAL INFORMATION
NOTHING SMALLER THEN YOUR ELBOW IN YOUR
EAR. USE MINERAL OIL AS NEEDED 1 TO 2 TIMES
A DAY FOR YOUR ITCHY EAR.
THIS INFORMATION IS ABOUT YOUR DIAGNOSIS
FOREIGN BODY-EAR
Today we removed the object that was stuck in your
Ear. The object may have injured the tissues in the ear.
That makes infection more likely.
I have for the last 20 years or so used the eraser end of a pencil in my ear to relieve itching, my big mistake was using one of Sandra�s cutesie - artsie pencils. Sure enough I heard a snap and when I pulled out the pencil, the eraser decided it liked my ear canal better. I started off my conversation with Sandra along the following lines. I need to tell you something and I don�t want to hear a word about it, I told her what happened. Response was as follows.
Didn�t anybody ever tell you not to put a foreign object in your ear.
The pencils I ordinarily use are a good grade of American pencil and I forgot that Sandra�s cheap pencils were foreign made. I made her look inside my ear to see if she could remove the foreign pencil eraser. I then realized that all the aggravation that I have given that good woman might come back to haunt me. Exit left, onward ho to the Webber hospital. I bravely drove myself there not really wanting to hear �Didn�t anybody ever tell you not to put a foreign object in your ear� again.
The Receptionist took my information and then said. Didn�t anybody ever tell you not to put a foreign object in your ear.
While I was there Sandy�s Granddaughter Shelby who volunteers at the hospital was there and came over to see me. I told her what happened, Guess what she said. Didn�t anybody ever tell you not to put a foreign object in your ear.
Next was to the admissions nurse who took my blood pressure after telling me, Didn�t anybody ever tell you not to put a foreign object in your ear. My blood pressure was dangerously high at that point.
Sandra & her daughter Hannah came to the hospital to see if I was OK and Hannah asked Didn�t anybody ever tell you not to put a foreign object in your ear.
Next was the Aid who took me into the cubicle where I was to wait for the doctor. She was nice enough until she asked Didn�t anybody ever tell you not to put a foreign object in your ear?
Finally the Doctor came in, a lovely woman who is 4 months pregnant. Great sense of humor great bedside and a Whiz at foreign object removal. I know what you�re thinking and yes she asked Didn�t anybody ever tell you not to put a foreign object in your ear.
Well I finally had heard the last quip about the foreign object. I went to the discharge section to sign out and the lovely young lady said!!!!!!!! Didn�t anybody ever tell you not to put a foreign object in your ear.
I�m a reasonably intelligent fellow at times, some times less than others. But I�ve got it figured out after all the people pounding it into my head. Didn�t anybody ever tell you not to put a foreign object in your ear.
I promise never ever, ever to use a foreign pencil eraser in my ear again, only American made pencils.
The author of this letter may have taken a little artistic license with this letter. I will say it's at least 99% accurate.
I probably won�t be looking at this from the humorous side when I get the bill and so help me if the following is on the bill I will go ballistic!!!!!!
Didn�t anybody ever tell you not to put a foreign object in your ear.
Jerry
Previous Topic
Index